


Therapy

by RoseyPoseyPie



Series: Anything You Can Do, I Can Do Better [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Asexual Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Deaf Clint Barton, Female Bruce Banner, Female Clint Barton, Female Sam Wilson, Female Steve Rogers, Female Tony Stark, Flashbacks, Fluff and Humor, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lesbian Bruce Banner, Lesbian Tony Stark, Multi, Nonbinary Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Past Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Therapy, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-10-30 17:18:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17832818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseyPoseyPie/pseuds/RoseyPoseyPie
Summary: Toni Stark is finally and publicly engaged to Pepper Potts and is now dealing with the realities of her future and her past with the assistance of regular therapy. Stephanie Barnes is getting used to life in a new century, mourning both the past and the people she misses as well as the future she wishes she had. Is there a plot? Or is this just the author having fun with characters she loves? You decide!*This fic will make more sense if you read the series*





	1. Repairs

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, everyone.
> 
> For those of you who are regulars for my series, welcome back!
> 
> For those of you who are meeting this series for the first time, welcome, and I highly recommend you read the previous installments before this one. 
> 
> So, I'm not going to justify myself, this is just a filler that I had a lot of fun writing. There is a minimal amount of actual plot here, but I really liked playing with the characters. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy! :)

When Toni woke up, she was stunned. Sitting in the chair beside her bed was probably the most beautiful woman she’d seen in her life. The woman was staring at her phone, occasionally smiling while exchanging texts. Toni must have stared at her for a solid ten minutes, enraptured with her beautiful eyes and the way she smiled. The woman glanced at Toni and noticed she was awake. She broke into the widest, happiest smile Toni had seen in her life. This smile was the best thing in the universe. Toni’s chest clenched, and she felt herself turn pink.

 

“How are you feeling?” Pretty smile asked.

 

“Great.” Toni slurred. “I’m the best. How about you?”

 

“I’m good,” Pretty smile kept smiling.

 

“You - are you a model?” Toni asked. “You - I swear you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

 

The woman laughed - scratch her previous comment - that  _ laugh _ was the best thing in the universe.

 

“What’s your name?” Toni asked.

 

“Stop teasing, Toni,” the beautiful woman said.

 

“I’m teasing?” Toni asked.

 

She started to look concerned. No. Toni didn’t like it when she looked concerned. She stood up and came back a moment later with a doctor.

 

“What’s your name?” The doctor asked.

 

“Toni - she said so,” Toni said.

 

“Do you know the president?” The doctor asked.

 

“I - I think we met.” Toni squinted. Why did she meet the president?

 

“Do you know her?” he pointed at the beautiful woman.

 

“I want to,” Toni said.

 

“Do you know where you are?”

 

“A hospital… somewhere. I know I don’t like hospitals because they chopped my legs off in one.”

 

The doctor sighed and turned to the beautiful woman, “She’s fine. Often, when people come off of general anesthesia, they can forget some things, they can be a little confused. Give her some time, and it’ll all come crashing back to her.”

 

“Thank you, Doctor,” the beautiful woman said. She sat back down beside Toni and started typing hurriedly into her phone. Toni looked at her hands, and that’s when her chest caved in. The woman had a beautiful rose gold ring on her left hand, with a huge diamond. She was engaged.

 

“Are you okay?” the beautiful woman asked.

 

“Yeah,” Toni said. “Sorry for flirting, I had no idea you were married.”

 

“I’m not married, yet,” she said. “We got engaged just a few weeks ago, but, I really love her.”

 

“Well, any woman who got a ring on you is the luckiest woman alive,” Toni said.

 

She laughed, “I think I’m more lucky to be engaged to her.”

 

“Really?” Toni asked, squinting up at her. “What kind of woman could - I mean - you put  _ Aphrodite _ to shame! And you have the biggest heart, I can tell. You have to be the kindest, smartest, most beautiful woman alive. And whoever managed to - to deserve your love, they must be incredible and incredibly lucky.”

 

“Well, you always do sing yourself high praise,” she said with a smile.

 

Wait.

 

It came crashing back.

 

“Pepper!” Toni exclaimed. Pepper laughed. Toni laughed too. “Ow - ow - ow.” She sighed, taking gasping breaths. “I just had heart surgery!”

 

“And they replaced your sternum,” Pepper said. “I put Aphrodite to shame?”

 

“Yeah, okay,” Toni said. “I’m very… romantic when I’m high.”

 

Pepper smiled down fondly at Toni and held her hands. “Good news while you were under, Happy was discharged. He’s gonna take a few weeks before going back to work for security.”

 

“Good,” Toni said. “When can I be discharged?”

 

“They gotta wait a week to make sure everything’s working right, especially that you don’t have any major infection. But the good news about going to a hospital where you just donated  eight million dollars to improve the facilities is that they’re cautious.”

 

“That was your idea, it’s too smart to be mine,” Toni said.

 

“Get some rest, babe,” Pepper said with a smile, leaning forward and gently kissing Toni. 

 

* * *

 

 

“Where’s Pepper?” Toni asked when she realized it was not Pepper sitting in the chair.

 

“She’s working,” Stephanie said, not looking up from her book. “Just because Stark is on bedrest doesn’t mean Stark Industries can take a break. I’m babysitting you.”

 

“What’re you reading?” Toni asked.

 

Stephanie lifted her book so Toni could read the title.  _ Resolving Structural Conflict: How Violent Systems Can Be Reformed _ .

 

“What a fun read,” Toni said sarcastically. Stephanie rolled her eyes and lowered the book. “Seriously, why are you reading that?”

 

“I’m trying to understand how social structures can play into local, transnational, and international conflict and violence, and how to alter those conditions to generate peace,” Stephanie said.  “Considering my job is basically redistributing your wealth to help the lives that were hurt by America becoming a global superpower during the Cold War as fueled by Howard’s weapons.”

 

“I guess that’s the excusable reason to read sociology,” Toni said.

 

“How are you feeling?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Sore,” Toni said. “But it’s fine. Where’s li’l Jimmy?”

 

Stephanie pointed to the end of Toni’s bed where Stephanie’s son, James Barnes, was curled up where Toni’s feet would have been. “He insisted that he sleeps with you when we’re here because you’re sick.”

 

“He’s talking a lot now?” Toni asked.

 

“Monosyllables,” Stephanie said. “Maybe three words at a time.”

 

“He’s so cute,” Toni said. Stephanie smiled. “I think I like babies.”

 

“That’s not a bad thing,” Stephanie said.

 

Toni was quiet for a considerable while. Stephanie was her friend now, right? And she was a mother. So, Toni could ask her for advice, couldn’t she?

 

“I - do you think I could be a mom?” Toni asked. “Because, you know, I want to do all the dumb, romantic, domestic things with Pepper. And kids… might be one of them?”

 

“Well, I didn’t think I’d be a good mom,” Stephanie said. “Because I was traumatized from war and struggling with the loss of my husband. And, you know, I’ve been told I’m doing this right. So, I mean, you’re in a far better place than I ever was. And your heart’s in the right place for it. So yeah, I think you could be a mom. You and Pepper would be great moms.”

 

Toni was quiet for another while. Was Stephanie just saying this because she was Toni’s friend? And Toni’s father’s friend?”

 

“Would you have said the same thing to Daddy?” Toni asked.

 

“No,” Stephanie laughed. “And I would’ve been right. He was a terrible father.”

 

“But you were friends.”

 

“Yeah, well,” Stephanie said. “He had a quarter of a century between when you knew him and when I knew him. So, he changed. Do you want jello?”

 

“Uh, swerve,” Toni said. “Okay.”

 

Stephanie stood up and came back with a plastic tray full of nothing but jello cups, “The red ones are the best,” She said, setting the tray down on Toni’s lap. “If Nat tells you otherwise,  they’re a dirty liar.”

 

* * *

 

 

A few days after Toni woke up, she was allowed to start moving around again. The doctors had a wheelchair for her, and she could do laps around the ward as long as she was still hooked up to the monitor which hung from the back of her chair. Toni appreciated going around and talking to the people who were also recovering from various surgeries, it made them feel better to realize that even Toni Stark needed to recover from surgery. Toni’s favorite room to visit was a little girl named Angel. Angel was eight years old and had lost one of her legs due to osteosarcoma just above her knee. She was getting the hang of using a wheelchair, and her parents had assured Toni they would go to Stark Industries to see if Angel was viable for a next-generation prosthetic limb. She and Toni would do small races through the halls, Toni winning most of the time. When it was Angel’s last day before she was allowed to go home, they had one last race, and Angel won. She was beaming and babbling about it to her parents as they headed past Toni’s room and out of the ward.

 

“Angel’s going home?” Rhodey asked.

 

“Yep,” Toni said. “Good kid.”

 

“You know, it’s only two more days,” Rhodey said. “And then you’ll be back in your tower penthouse with your girl and your tools.”

 

“No - no tools. I am taking a break from tools, remember. I am gonna put on my new legs which I designed before I went under the knife, and then I’m gonna help Pepper run the company and Stephanie with her quest to redistribute my money and end structural violence across the globe.”

 

“Yeah, and fifteen minutes later, when you’re bored, you’re gonna do science and play with your tools,” Rhodey said. “Don’t forget, I’ve known you since you were sixteen.”

 

“Yeah,” Toni agreed. “Well, I’m gonna try to do more. I promised Pepper to help her plan our wedding. I wanna see how Stephanie’s running the foundations. I wanna do some outreach, some media stuff, a passion project here and there. You know, life things.”

 

“And therapy,” Rhodey said. “Don’t forget, you did promise.”

 

“Yes, Bertie is somehow getting along with the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents and they are finding the best shrink in New York City for me,” Toni said.

 

“How long you wanna bet you’ll see the shrink?” Rhodey asked. “I’m betting two months.”

 

“Well, it depends on how fried my brain is,” Toni said. “I think… probably six months. I should be fixable in six months.”

 

“See, I’m betting two because that’s when you’ll run away after dealing with all the hard stuff and moving on to the annoying stuff,” Rhodey said. “And once it gets annoying, you’re gonna decide you’re in the clear, and then stop going.”

 

“Are you saying this to trick me into not doing that because I’m driven by spite?” Toni asked. “Is this reverse psychology, Rhodey?”

 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Rhodey said with a smile.

 

 

Getting discharged was the best. Toni was wheeled out by a nurse, with Pepper and Rhodey by her side. They climbed into a Stark Car, JARVIS was driving and took the secret entrance to the basement garage of Stark Tower. While Stark Tower bisected Park Avenue, there was a private parking entrance on Lexington and 45th that led to the basement. They then took the private elevator to the penthouse.

 

“Welcome back home, Ma’am,” JARVIS said.

 

“Thank you, J,” Toni said.

 

“Ready to get back on your feet?” Pepper asked, motioning to the silver gleaming Stark Tech box on the coffee table. “They finished rendering a few days ago.”

 

“How many gadgets and gizmos does this set have?” Rhodey asked.

 

“They’re just an improvement of the technology in the mark fours,” Toni said. “Nothing outrageous. Although Bertie had this brilliant idea for improving the sensitivity of the pressure sensors to allow me to feel more sensations of touch and vibration. Still no pain sensations, but with all the times I’ve gotten these things ripped off or impaled, probably not the best idea.”

 

“Maybe, if they hurt, you’d be less likely to get them ripped off,” Pepper said.

 

“I mean, the very first versions could feel pain, and that was the  _ worst _ ,” Toni said.

 

“You mean your actual, biological legs?” Pepper asked.

 

“Yep,” Toni said.

 

She picked up the first prosthetic brace and adjusted it over where her leg ended. The thin electrical prods went deep into her. She hissed through the pain. She picked up the leg and placed it in the brace, twisting it with a click. She experimented by flexing, extending, supinating and pronating her leg and ankle. She squeezed and wiggled her toes. Pepper tapped her shin, “Feel that?”

 

“Yep,” Toni said.

 

Pepper rain the nail of her thumb along the bottom of Toni’s foot, Toni squirmed and wiggled her toes, “Did that tickle?”

 

“I did say that Bertie helped me improve the sensitivity.”

 

“I’m going to assume hot and cold work as well,” Pepper said. Toni nodded and followed the same procedure on the second limb, placing the brace and slipping the leg into place. Pepper tested, and the other foot was equally ticklish.

 

“Ready to stand?” She asked. Toni nodded. Rhodey and Pepper stood on each side of her, helping her slowly and steadily rise to her feet. It took her a few moments to find her equilibrium, then she delicately made a few steps forward, discovering her balance as she moved around. The feeling of walking came back to her, and she was soon able to do lap comfortably.

 

“Well?” She asked.

 

“You’re certainly better than James,” Pepper said.

 

“Hey!” Rhodey said.

 

“No, not you, Rhodey, James Barnes. Li’l Jimmy,” Toni said. “He’s only coasting still. Haha! I can walk better than a baby!”

 

“Speaking of the baby,” Pepper said. “It’s his first birthday next week.”

 

“Did you-”

 

“Already buy him the gifts from us? Yes,” Pepper said. “Age-appropriate books, jumbo blocks, word flashcards, and a fidget toy, because he’s grabbing and playing with  _ everything _ .”

 

“You sure know a lot about Li’l Jimmy,” Rhodey said.

 

“Stephanie is our friend,” Toni shrugged. “And we like Jimmy.”

 

“She’s… been talking with me about what it’s like to be experimented on when you didn’t want to be,” Pepper said delicately. “And, she is our friend, and we like James.”

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie’s apartment was well-decorated for James’ first birthday. Toni and Pepper had taken the car from Manhattan to Brooklyn, arriving with a large bag of presents. Bertie had declined attendance, saying that a toddler’s birthday party probably wasn’t the safest place for her to be. It seemed that Bertie rarely left the reinforced floor and adjacent lab in Stark Tower that Toni had designed for her. Some of the other guests included Stephanie’s sister-in-law and her family, Stephanie’s friend and social worker Sam Wilson, some of the other kids from the Stark Industries daycare that James had befriended, their parents, and the two S.H.I.E.L.D. agents Nat and Claire. The children were playing in the living room, which had the couches pushed back so the floor rug could become one giant play area. The adults mulled around with sodas and talked while keeping an eye on their children. Toni and Pepper added their gifts to the pile in the bay window and joined the group. Once it seemed that all the guests were there and comfortable, they moved on to the cake and presents. It was adorable to see James smear chocolate cake all over his face as he had the sweet treat for the first time in his life. Upon his first bite, his eyes went wide, and he looked up at his mother as if accusing her of never letting him eat this before and instead forcing him to eat pureed fruits and vegetables, crackers, and breastmilk for the last year. James got to open presents with his mother’s help on his mother’s lap and throw a few of them across the room in glee. For a one-year-old, he got quite a lot of distance with his throw.

 

Once the presents were done, most of the other toddlers had to leave because they were overstimulated and needed a nap. Stephanie’s sister-in-law was also pushing ninety-two and needed to rest, so her family took her home. That left the Avengers and Sam Wilson to help Stephanie clean up after she had put James down for a nap as well. Stephanie and Pepper moved the furniture back into place while Sam cleaned up the food, Nat took down the decorations, Toni cleaned up the packaging from the presents, and Claire finished off the animal crackers.

 

“To be honest,” Pepper said Stephanie as they worked. “I haven’t really tried testing what I’m capable of now. I kind of don’t want to know.”

 

“I understand,” Stephanie said. “But it’s not a bad idea to have an idea. I didn’t know what I was capable of until I ruptured Hitler’s testicles and shattered his jaw.”

 

“And you wouldn’t have hit him if you knew you could do that?” Pepper asked.

 

Stephanie shrugged, “Probably would’ve pulled. There are other things too. I broke doors and ripped clothes when I didn’t realize what I could do. You have to know your levels. What can I do and what it feels like so you know when to stop.”

 

“That’s reasonable,” Pepper agreed. “I also have a ridiculous regeneration factor now.”

 

“How ridiculous? I can mend a major bone in a week.”

 

“Um, I fell two hundred feet onto concrete and got up five minutes later,” Pepper said.

 

“Woah,” Stephanie said, whistling.

 

“Not eager to see if I can do that again,” Pepper said.

 

“I understand.”

 

“But I’ll look into your recommendations about knowing what I can do,” Pepper said.

 

Pepper went back over to Toni and kissed her on the cheek.

 

“Well, hello,” Toni said.

 

“I’m done with helping, need a hand?” Pepper asked.

 

“Nope,” Toni said, pulling the drawstrings of the trash bag, “We’re good to go. Unless you want to get in on the animal crackers before Barton eats them all.”

 

“I think if I get a real hankering, I can always buy some,” Pepper said with a smile. They said their goodbyes and headed back to Manhattan.

 

* * *

 

 

It was time for Toni’s first session. The therapist that she was about to see had been selected by Bertie, vetted by Nat, Claire, Pepper, and Stephanie, and finally approved by Toni. Her name was Ashley Kafka, and she was well-recommended by the patients of hers that Nat had tracked down to quiz on how effective she was as a therapist. She had even agreed to come to Stark Tower for meetings with Toni as long as Toni could promise a secure place for them to meet. Toni could, of course, and now she was sitting in an office on the nineteenth floor that had been renovated for psychiatry. There was a desk with a computer for Kafka, and a small sitting area with a couch and a few armchairs. Kafka had settled into the office fifteen minutes ago, and Toni was on the elevator, heading down to finally meet her. She stepped into the comfortable office and Kafka smiled up at her from where she sat at the desk. “It’s a nice room,” she told Toni.

 

“Oh, yeah, no problem,” Toni said.

 

Kafka stood up, shook Toni’s hand, and beckoned her to take a seat on the couch. Toni did so, and Kafka sat across from her in one of the armchairs.

 

“As you know, I’m Dr. Kafka,” Ashley said. “Do you mind if I record? I prefer audio notes.”

 

“Not at all,” Toni said, shaking her head.

 

“So, Miss Stark,” Kafka smiled.

 

“Toni, please,” Toni said.

 

“Toni,” Kafka nodded. “Why do you want to see a therapist?”

 

“I - have anxiety problems,” Toni admitted. “And, you know, general personality defects. And, well, as you know, I got engaged on live television after nearly dying. And, I want to… you know how before getting married people like to work out or eat healthier, so they’re their best selves when they get married to the person they love the most in the world. I want to do that for my head.”

 

“That puts a lot of stress on doing well here, then,” Kafka said. “Because you’ll add stress thinking that you need to succeed here because getting married will be the reward for good mental health.”

 

“Yeah,” Toni nodded. “That’s been what’s motivating me to sort myself out.”

 

“Well,” Kafka said. “I think that improving your mental health is, in itself, the reward, but I understand needing to prioritize something other than yourself.”

 

“What do you mean?” Toni asked.

 

“You wouldn’t improve your own mental health for you,” Kafka said. “You’re improving it for the woman you love. Which is sweet, but it also is indicative that you don’t prioritize yourself.”

 

“Okay,” Toni said.

 

“So, anxiety,” Kafka said. “Can you describe what it’s like?”

 

“I’m just… worried that bad things will happen,” Toni said. “And, you know, when I think about what happened in New York back in May…” Toni took a deep breath, “I get really scared. Like, hyperventilating scared. And, nightmares are a problem. Basically, Pepper is the only thing that can calm them down which means she’s not getting sleep and I don’t want her to lose sleep so I can have some.”

 

Kafka nodded. “Why are you scared?”

 

“I fought aliens?” Toni said. “That was pretty intense. And, uh, I can’t really - I don’t know if they’re coming back. When they’re coming back.”

 

“So, every day, you fear alien invasion?” Kafka asked.

 

“Basically,” Toni said. “When I went into the portal, I saw-” She stopped. She couldn’t breathe. She remembered it, the fleet.

 

“Breathe, Toni,” Kafka’s sharp voice said. Toni took a deep breath. “You saw?”

 

“An army - A legion - so many,” Toni said. “And if we hadn’t closed it when we did - and you know… I don’t know if they’re still out there. If they have a bone to pick.”

 

“It’s a frightening thought,” Kafka said. “It’s also not your worry to have.”

 

“Sorry?” Toni asked.

 

“Your life was changed,” Kafka said. “Your world, the way you saw the universe, was altered fundamentally. And that’s intimidating. But, why are you more scared of aliens then, say, North Korea? Or the supervolcano in Yellowstone exploding and wiping out the human race?”

 

“Well - I never really thought about supervolcanoes,” 

 

“That’s my point. You were confronted with aliens. It changed the parameters of your universe, your perspective, and you don’t know how to handle that. And it probably didn’t help that you  nearly died.”

 

“Well, that happens all the time,” Toni said dismissively. Kafka looked at Toni expectantly. Toni sighed, “Recently, I thought was gonna die on the Norco. Then, you know, New York. Before that, Palladium poisoning. And then, Afghanistan.”

 

“And why do you fear aliens more than your death?” Kafka asked.

 

“Because then - aliens will hurt the people around me.”

 

“And your death won’t?” Kafka asked.

 

“Yes, sure, but, they’ll live,” Toni said. “And… if they’re hurt, on my watch, because of aliens or AIM or the Ten Rings, I don’t know, It’d be on me. I’d have failed them.”

 

“Okay,” Kafka said. “It’s fine to feel worry and concern about the people you love. Healthy, even. But you are feeling an extreme version of worry over hurting the people you care about. And that’s the problem. Being worried about losing people is fine. To be worried about hurting people. But there’s a line between what you can and can’t control. And if you can’t control something, there’s no point in being guilty or afraid of it.”

 

“But what if I can control something - or I can get control of something - if I work hard enough?” 

 

“Sure,” Kafka shrugged. “You could spend up your time and energy, you could funnel all the resources you could, and maybe you could gain the control of things you couldn’t control before. But putting all that work into it will mean you have to neglect the people you’re trying to save. And there are consequences to that. You may push them away, or they may decide that it’s better not to be around you because of your obsession with other things. Or, you could accept the fact that you can’t control everything. Compromise, and spend more time with the people you love. Because there are things you can’t control, and on the other side, what would you rather have? Good memories with the people you love or regrets for what you missed out on trying to chase what you couldn’t control?”

 

“I guess… I have too many regrets as it is.” Toni said.

 

Kafka nodded. “Tell me about those.”

 

And Toni kept talking.

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you ready?” Pepper asked. She and Toni were in a dressing room in Los Angeles on the Warner Brothers campus, the sound stage where they filmed  _ Ellen _ ’s daytime talk show. After this, they would fly back to New York and do a circuit on late-night talk shows, officially announcing their relationship, explaining it, and talking about their plans for the future. The Public Relations specialist had said they had put off explaining what had happened far too long, it was nearing three months since the from-afar engagement ceremony and dramatic kiss that had been broadcasted on live television during the exciting events of the Norco.

 

“Yep,” Toni said. “How do I look?” She turned around. She was wearing a suit, which was ivory with orange and pink flowers splattered over it in a full print. Somehow, Toni looked particularly stylish swathed in what looked like a glossier version of her grandmother’s drapery.

 

“Good,” Pepper said, adjusting Toni’s narrow black tie and smoothing her collar.

 

“You look great, by the way,” Toni said.

 

“Thank you,” Pepper smiled. She was wearing a blue sheath dress, looking prim and polished.

 

There was a knock on the door, “We’re ready, Miss Stark, Miss Potts.”

 

“Shall we, Miss Potts?” Toni asked, offering her hand.

 

“We shall, Miss Stark,” Pepper said, accepting the hand. They strolled out of the dressing room hand in hand. They were stopped at the edge of the backstage by a stage manager.

 

“My next guest, two guests actually, are the CEO and COO of Stark Industries, please welcome Toni Stark and Pepper Potts.”

 

The manager nodded, and they stepped onstage, walking over to greet Ellen DeGeneres in a signature blazer-jeans combo as the crowd cheered, and they sat down together on the red loveseat provided on the stage, while Ellen took her seat in a matching red armchair.

 

“Hi,” Ellen said.

 

“Hi,” Toni and Pepper smiled.

 

“So, how are you guys?” Ellen asked.

 

“We’re good,” Pepper said.

 

“Great, I would argue,” Toni said.

 

“Well it’s not a competition,” Pepper replied.

 

“I wasn’t trying to one-up you, I was trying to expand on what-” Toni said.

 

“Sure, yeah,” Pepper said. They were still both grinning.

 

“So, uh,” Ellen said. “I was hoping if I could ask you about something that happened, oh, back in December I think. We’ve all, you know, heard the official reports where you ended up saving the President.”

 

There was a lot of cheering.

 

“Thank you, thank you,” Toni said. “Yes, thank you.”

 

“And, I mean, I try to keep this show light-hearted. But, it was personally scary to watch all of this unfold on live television, and then when you eventually saved the day-” More applause. “-We got to see this-” The large screen behind them cut to a grainy grab from the camera footage. “-Which I don’t think anyone was expecting to see.”

 

“Yep,” Toni said, swiveling around to see the blown-up image. Pepper had one arm around her waist, and one hand at the back of her neck, and was leaning over Toni. Toni was slanted across Pepper, balancing on her one functioning foot at the time while her arms were around Pepper’s shoulders. There were fireworks and the burning deck of the Norco in the background, and both of them were wearing their engagement rings for the first time. Toni had a visible gash on one side of her face and was missing a sleeve on her hoodie. Pepper was looking immaculate in the black sports bra and yoga pants combination. “We got engaged on live television.”

 

“So, did you plan that?”

 

“No,” Pepper said. “We were just, happy to be alive, caught up in the moment. Somehow, everything fell into place, both of our friends had our rings. I honestly feel like they knew it was going to happen more than we did. We knew the camera was there, but we didn’t care.”

 

“So, you’re engaged now,” Ellen said. “So, when did the relationship start?”

 

“It’s a complicated question,” Toni admitted. “Our romantic relationship started in May of 2010, I believe, officially. That’s when we had our first date. But we sort of got together back in April, we just weren’t dating yet. We were mostly working together and occasionally making out. But you know, I had feelings for her long before then.”

 

“How long before?” Ellen asked.

 

“Okay, so, she started working for me in 2002,” Toni said. “Over a decade ago. And, uh, very slowly I started to like her but, I didn’t know that she was also-”

 

“Gay,” Pepper finished. “Which is stupid because, well, I wasn’t keeping it a secret. She just-” Pepper whistle and mimed her hand slipping over her head.

 

“So then when I finally found out after Afghanistan in November 2008, it all sort of reached the climax, you know? Because I - I didn’t think I had a chance because she’s amazing, but I realized it was more than just a fantasy. So all of those thoughts and desires I had for the last five, six years, I was finally allowed to feel them. And then, you know, somehow she requited it  about a year later.”

 

“Toni’s a romantic,” Pepper said. “And nobody expects it because she’s Toni Stark. So just know, all of that, romanticized.” 

 

“You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

 

“You act like you were pining for eight years,” Pepper said.

 

“Well, maybe, I was,” Toni replied. The audience awed.

 

“So, when’s the wedding?” Ellen asked.

 

“Ha,” Pepper said. “We don’t know.”

 

“We’re not going too quickly in the next stage,” Toni said.

 

“After all, it took us a decade to get here,” Pepper said. “But we do know we want it to be in June-”

 

“-For pride month.”

 

“Which June, we’re not sure yet. And Toni insists that it’s going to be the biggest, gayest wedding of the century.”

 

“Well, I hope I’m invited,” Ellen said.

 

“Oh, absolutely,” Pepper assured her.

 


	2. Ritual

 

Stephanie lived off of rituals. The rigid structure she maintained in the latter half of her pregnancy was what pulled her out of her depressive rut, and it was keeping a structure which allowed her to be a capable employee and mother. Stephanie woke up at five, put on a sports bra, unrolled the black yoga mat under her bed, and spent the first hour of her morning doing high aerobic flow yoga. She needed a workout that would push her that she could do without having to leave James alone in the apartment, and after doing some research, she found a combination of yoga and free weights was sufficient. Once she was sweating and very awake, she went and took a shower, spending time for herself to use fancy scented soap, shampoo, and shower gel, putting on her clothes and makeup for the day. At seven in the morning, she woke up James, wrestled him into his clothes for the day, and made breakfast for the two of them, usually pancakes and eggs.

 

At seven-thirty, she put on her incredibly expensive laptop backpack, slipped her baby supply bag over one shoulder, scooped James into her arms, and headed to the subway. She had tried using a stroller, but it was so much of a hassle to use on the subway, and her arms never got tired from holding her son like most mothers did. She walked to the Grand Army Plaza and took the 2 train to Nevins Street Station on the red line and then the 4 train on the green line to Grand Central Station. When she arrived at Grand Central, she walked over to and up Vanderbilt Avenue and through the main entrance of Stark Tower, entering the doors at about eight-fifteen. 

 

The main entry receptionists greeted her, and she took the staff elevator up to the eighteenth floor where there was the employee daycare. She said goodbye to James, handed off her supply bag to the caretaker, and kissed her son one last time. Then, she went up to the sixty-seventh floor where the philanthropy offices were located, stopped by one of the cafes, and went to the offices. She greeted the floor receptionist and went to the office for the director of charitable foundations, greeted her secretary, and sat down at her desk with a lox bagel and a large cup of black tea in her reusable thermal tumbler, and checked her email at eight-thirty on the dot. This was Stephanie’s morning ritual, it was what kept her focused and functioning day in and day out.

 

The day after Toni was on Ellen, Stephanie’s morning ritual was severely upset by a collection of morons. 

 

When she reached the main entrance to Stark Tower at eight-thirteen that morning, she was shocked to see a growing crowd of the employees. Many of them stopped to look at the entrance, shook their head, and then split off down Vanderbilt so they could take one of the side entrances instead of the main entrance. It took five minutes for Stephanie to slowly make her way from the back of the crowd to the front of the group, and she realized once she reached the front why everything was upset. Standing in the entranceway of Stark Tower was a collection of protesters. No - protesters weren’t the right word. These were moronic demonstrators. They had large styrofoam signs with rainbow backgrounds and violent hate speech written on the front. Often in the template “God hates” and then a very offensive homophobic slur. Some had snippets of biblical text printed on their signs. They were also chanting. The Stark Industries security guards were posted in front, keeping them from entering the building. A few more were directing employees to the side entrances. Stephanie probably could have and should have just followed the crowd and entered through a side entrance, but she was furious, enraged, and seething.

 

“Mrs. Barnes,” A guard greeted her. It was Leslie. Stephanie liked Leslie, she usually also rode home in the evenings on the 5 train, and they had spoken a few times.

 

“Hey,” Stephanie said, eying the demonstrators with distaste.

 

“I really suggest you take the side entrance, ma’am,” Leslie said.

 

“In a minute,” Stephanie said. “Do you mind holding James for a moment?”

 

Leslie accepted James with resignation, as if aware of what was happening next, and said something about Captain Barnes and the demonstrators into her earpiece. Stephanie pushed past the line of Stark security keeping the employees from walking into the demonstrators and marched straight up to the one man with a bullhorn. His chant faltered when he saw Captain Stephanie Barnes advancing toward him with fury in her eyes. He lowered the bullhorn, and all it took was her eager, outstretched hand and he gave it to her as if in a trance.

 

“This is private property,” Stephanie roared, the bullhorn screeching. “You are keeping these people from doing their jobs. Go away.” Stephanie could feel the phones go up around her, people filming Captain America versus the Westboro Baptist Church.

 

“Freedom of Speech!” One of them hollered.

 

“Stark Industries has a solicitation policy,” Stephanie said. “You’re on Stark property, blocking the front doors, you are not within your rights to protest here.” She turned to one of the guards, “Hey, Jack, has Toni called the police?”

 

“Miss Stark and Miss Potts are still in Los Angeles, we’re trying to contact them.”

 

“Permission from me - call the police to arrest and fine these assholes for trespassing and inciting violence if they don’t pack up and leave.”

 

“I thought you loved God, Captain!” One of the demonstrators cried.

 

“If loving God to you means hating other people and inciting for their deaths for the nature of their existence,” Stephanie pointed to a sign that said “Kill all-” and then a homophobic slur. “Then your God is not my God.”

 

“But the bible says-”

 

“Yeah, I’ve read it,” Stephanie said. “You want to talk scripture, sir? Let’s talk scripture. _ ‘He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? _ ’ Micah 6:8. Where is the justice, the kindness, the humility in this demonstration? In this gross offense of inciting violence and hate?”

 

“But Sodom-"

 

“The people of Sodom weren’t sinners because of their sexuality. If I recall my Sodom and Gomorrah: ‘ _ the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food, and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy.’ _ Ezekiel 49. Not to mention the sexual violence done by the sodomites wasn’t sexual interaction between two people of the same sex, it was the violent rape of Lot’s daughters. So, let’s keep going?” the man tried to talk over her, but she had the bullhorn, and she screamed over him and the other demonstrators. “What else do you have? The Levitical laws? We’ve all failed those. I’m pretty sure you’re wearing more than two kinds of fabric right now, sir. I know I am. The Levitical laws are there for those escaping Egypt, they literally describe the rules of Exodus, are we in an exodus, right now, sir? And are you absolutely certain that when the bible was translated from Amharic or Hebrew or Greek or Latin, there wasn’t any misinterpretation of God’s word? You see the scripture inciting you to hate people - I see it as a warning against hate, as well as violence, greed, power, injustice, and idolatry. I see it as a message of love, justice, kindness, charity, community, and responsibility. Homophobia is an invention of your modern scripture because the bible I knew growing up never even  _ mentioned _ it.”

 

They didn’t humor her with any sort of cognitive thought over what she said, they just went back to chanting some variation of “God hates” and “Kill all” with a homophobic slur. One of them made grab for the bullhorn that Stephanie had. It was their mistake, because the moment he had both hands on her wrist, her other hand was in his face. His nose and cheekbone cracked under her fist, and he slumped onto the ground. His buddies rushed to him, pulling him away from her. Just as this happened, several police cars pulled up. 

 

“Arrest her!” One of them declared as the police arrived.

 

“One of them put their hands on me, so I hit him in the face,” Stephanie said plainly. “It’s been filmed by about seventy people if you want proof,” She motioned to the crowd.

 

“That won’t be necessary, Cap,” The police officer nodded. “Thank you again for your service.” They started rounding up the demonstrators.

 

“Freedom of speech!” the men exclaimed as they were escorted away from Stark Tower by the police.

 

“Captain America loves homosexuals!” the one with a bruise blossoming on one side of his face cried as he was shoved into the back of a police car.

 

“You’re damn right I do!” Stephanie yelled.

 

It wasn’t until nine that morning that she finally opened her email.

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie was working the next morning, her keyboard clacking away as she worked on typing a memorandum for the latest package of charitable donations from Stark Industries. Pepper and Toni had unofficially approved the contributions already, and Toni insisted on calling the initiative The Gay Agenda. They were dedicating about a quarter of a billion dollars to LGBT programs and charities including but not limited to the Trevor Project, GLAD, GLSEN, SAGE, multiple community centers for major cities, and the New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project.

 

“Front of the New York Times,” Toni said, striding into Stephanie’s office. “The Wall Street Journal The Washington Post,” she slapped the newspapers down as she said them, “And USA Today. All the national papers.”

 

“The Washington Post technically isn’t national because it has limited print distribution,” Stephanie said, not looking up from her work.

 

“You sound so much like Pepper sometimes I think I have a complex,” Toni said.

 

It looked like Toni was here to stay, so she slowly peeled away from her memo and looked at the newspapers, all of them were some variation of one of the images pulled from the videos and photographs taken by the bystanders. USA Today just had her speaking in the bullhorn, everyone else took the screengrab of her mid-punch, her hand smashed into the homophobic man’s face.

 

“You know, I pulled,” Stephanie said.

 

“Yeah, I could tell by the fact that he didn’t even have a concussion,” Toni said. “Thanks, by the way. I’m not gonna pretend that I care what some religious kooks say - not you, them - but I really appreciate you defending Pep and me.”

 

“I went to Church at least once a week for about twenty-four years of my life, and I both attended and eventually taught at the Sunday school. So, I suppose that people using my religion to justify their hate gets on my nerves. Plus, you know,”

 

“You love homosexuals?”

 

“And I kinda like you,” Stephanie smiled.

 

“Well, I appreciate it,” Toni said. “Pep’s a little worried about this whole thing. The message it sends and the lawsuit.”

 

“Lawsuit?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Oh - right. Um, the guy you punched announced that he’s suing you and the city for damages and a violation of his rights. But, hey, don’t worry. I spoke you my lawyers, and they really  don’t think he has a solid case, after all, the whole thing was filmed.

 

* * *

 

 

Going to court for the lawsuit was really an annoyance more than anything. The fact that the man was convicted for trespassing already weakened his civil case. Their argument was simple, Stephanie was defending herself and was showing constraint based on how few injuries the man sustained. An observation of her hitting a pressure pad indicated she could shatter a human skull, and so the fact that the man didn’t even have a concussion indicated severe restraint on her part. The fact that public favor was already in the direction of Captain America meant that she was in a prime position to gain the jury’s support in the civil case. Eventually, they ruled in her favor in the civil case and in the city’s favor for his lawsuit against them. It was a victory for morals in the United States.

 

Stephanie thought that it would finally be over, and that was when she was contacted by the Department of Education, and they wanted to do a series called “Rapping with Cap” a collection of PSAs for the youth. Stephanie felt that she might not be the best person to speak to the youth of America, considering that she was a child in the 1920s and lacked an understanding of essential modern things that she would need to understand to give a public service announcement for middle and high school children.

 

“I don’t even understand why they asked me,” Stephanie said. She was out having lunch with her common group, Sam, Pepper, Claire, and Nat. They often found a chance to get together once a week and talk about work. They also usually went out for drinks, which was why Toni declined attendance and instead would get into trouble with Bertie or Rhodey.

 

“Because you’re not controversial,” Nat said.

 

“I was sued for punching a guy in a face.”

 

“A guy who was clearly a pain in the collective, universal ass,” Claire said. “Even Fox News denounced him because he was technically breaking the law with solicitation on private property. If Fox News loves anything more than homophobia, it's the rights of megacorporations.”

 

“You’re Captain America, so you already win in the propaganda competition,” Nat said. “You’re religious but not painfully so, you’re a widow with a child, so you seem responsible around children.”

 

“Not to mention you punch aliens and Nazis, maybe the kids will think that’s cool,” Sam said. “You should do it.”

 

“Agreed,” Nat and Claire said in tandem.

 

“I don’t want to be a dancing monkey again. Pepper?” Stephanie asked. Pepper Potts was, of course, the resounding voice of reason.

 

“You should do it,” Pepper said slowly. “But stay true to yourself. Request creative control. Demand it, if you must. And let them know Stark Industries would be more than happy to provide resources if it means you get to control the series. And please don’t let the series be called ‘rapping with Cap’ because Toni will not shut up about it and I need less material for her.”

 

“I’ll drink to that,” Nat said.

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie was granted creative control, and Stark Industries collaborated for the production. It also helped Stark Industries because Toni was working with the New York City public school system already to upgrade a high school in midtown into a state-of-the-art Science and Technology magnet school, and their assistance with production for the soon renamed ‘rapping with Cap’ videos would result in an easier time getting permission to do the sponsorship. Stephanie was given a list of fifteen topics which she needed to talk about for the videos as well as suggested scripts for each video, with the videos being no more than fifteen minutes long a piece. Stephanie scrapped their scripts immediately and expanded the topics to twenty-one so she could talk about sexual education and expand some of the topics she thought were more important. Her list of required topics included: Bullying, Child Welfare, Compassion, Conflict Resolution, Consent, Detention, Education, Exercise, Healthy Relationships, Mental Health, Nutrition, Patience, Personal Safety, Pregnancy, Puberty, Respect, Responsibility, Stranger Danger, Substance Use and Abuse, and Suicide. She spent about two weeks of her free time writing the new scripts, using parenting and child psychology books to design actually useful dialogue. She also studied common children shows to see their formula, and upon Toni’s recommendation, settled on the sort of friendly format as Mr. Rogers’ daytime children’s series. She changed, beyond the script, the costume, and the set. Instead of speaking in a classroom or a lockered hallway as the original creative team was suggesting while wearing her Captain America costume, they created a cozy living room set, and Stephanie wore a cozy blue knitted sweater with a white star on the chest and red and white stripes on the cuffs of the sleeves. Her bottom half was far less visible, so she didn’t include an allusion to her identity in her medium-wash jeans and comfortable loafers. 

 

The filming was exhausting, even though she wrote and therefore memorized the scripts, the combination of the hot lighting, the sweating under the sweater, the acting, and reciting before her voice went throughout two days was taxing. And then she had to supervise the editing process on top of that which was another week. The videos, now “Captain’s Corner” as opposed to “Rapping with Cap,” were an exhausting month-long endeavor, but the Department of Education eventually approved the submitted videos, and she was sent the disk set a few days later. Toni found out and declared a movie night.

 

Toni, Pepper, Bertie, Nat, and Claire were all waiting for Stephanie when she came up to the penthouse with James sitting on her shoulders with his hands grabbing her hair to hold him into place.

 

“Nice hat,” Nat said, smiling as Stephanie entered.

 

“Thank you,” Stephanie said.

 

“You can just stash your stuff in the entryway,” Pepper said, leaning over the back of the couch. “Come over here, we have pizza, popcorn, and candy.” Stephanie set down her bags and kicked off her shoes, heading onto the large sectional couches of Toni’s penthouse. She lifted James off her shoulders and onto her lap as she sat down. Toni and Pepper were cozied up together on the other end of the couch. The second couch had Nat and Claire sitting thigh-to-thigh on one half while Bertie burrowed herself into the far end of the other half, holding a pillow and tucked beside the armrest with a plush throw blanket bundled around her. When Stephanie sat down, James crawled off her lap so he could spread out between Stephanie and the mass of limbs which was Toni and Pepper.

 

“I would like to remind you all that these are educational videos for children,” Stephanie said. “Aged five through seventeen, and are not supposed to be proper media entertainment for adults. They will be played at assemblies and in health classes.”

 

“You’ve made that argument, like, eight times already. Not sit down, shut up, and watch TV,” Toni said. “Jimmy, do you want Pizza?”

 

“Yes,” James said very slowly. Toni handed the toddler a half-eaten box of cheese pizza. He settled the box on his lap. “Mommy, what awe we watching?”

 

“Aunt Toni wants to watch the movie that I made,” Stephanie said. “And everyone else agreed. But if you get bored, we can change it. Right, Aunt Toni?”

 

“Yeah, sure,” Toni said. She pressed some buttons, and a massive screen descended from the ceiling. “JARVIS, queue up ‘Captain’s Corner.’”

 

“Certainly, ma’am.”

 

The video began to play. First, it was the copyright warnings, then the introduction slideshow of Stephanie smiling at the camera and pointing at a whiteboard in her lap with colorful streaks and patriotic music played before the main menu loaded up.

 

“Oh, wait,” Claire said. “Closed Captions.”

 

“Activating closed captions, Agent Barton,” JARVIS said. The little shield icon shifted from Play to Set-Up and then changed to English Subtitles and entered them in. Then JARVIS went back to the main menu and activated the movie. The camera panned to Stephanie, who was sitting cross-legged on a couch with a mug of tea between her hands. She took a sip and set it down on a coaster version of her shield and faced the camera.

 

“Hi,” Stephanie said. It was so strange for Stephanie to see herself on a screen. It was odd even after she had been in a movie and countless war reels. “My name is Captain Stephanie Barnes, many of you may know me as Captain America.”

 

“Mommy, it’s you!” James said.

 

“Oh my god, the kid’s right, It’s Steph!” Claire declared.

 

Stephanie rolled her eyes while she kept talking on the screen, “When I was young, I had a wonderful, wise woman who helped me when I was your age. My mother. Her wisdom helped me develop the skills and morals that set me on the path of helping others. Today, I would like to share some of this wisdom here, with you. So, settle in, get comfortable. And I want you to know that you’re safe here because you’re in the Captain’s Corner.”

 

A cozy, jazzy introduction song played. The text on the screen said that it was _ Episode One: Bullying _ .”

 

“Hi,” Stephanie said, smiling and setting down her mug of tea again. “Believe it or not, when I was a kid, I was bullied. Of course, back then, I wasn’t Captain America. I was a little girl who got sick a lot, and it meant that a lot of people saw me as an easy target. When I grew up, I realized that bullies aren’t just something exclusive to the schoolyard. So, today, I’m going to teach you about them. When it comes to bullies, there are three important things to know.” A piece of lined paper appeared floating beside Stephanie. It was a post-production add-in. “One, how to identify bullies. Two, how to deal with bullies. And Three, what to do if you are a bully.” As she listed the different things, they appeared on the piece of paper.

 

“I’m enraptured,” Claire said.

 

“So, how do we identify if someone is a bully?” Stephanie asked. “The first kind and the most well-known kind of bullying is physical bullying. Examples include hitting, kicking, biting, pinching, tripping, or touching you in a way that makes you uncomfortable. Physical bullying is what we think of a lot of the time: a bully that trips you, throws things at you or hits you. When I was a kid, bullies would often trip me or pull my hair. However, if someone is hurting you or making you uncomfortable and you hurt them to make it stop, that is not bullying, it’s self-defense, and it’s alright if you do it as long as you’re actually scared of getting hurt.”

 

“You just gave children five through seventeen permission to hit each other,” Toni said.

 

“In self-defense, your listening comprehension is abysmal,” Stephanie said.

 

“The second kind of bullying,” Stephanie on the television continued. “Is verbal bullying. Examples of this include belittling and name-calling, and any time someone says something that they know is mean. Usually, verbal bullying identifies and makes fun of the way people act, behave, or things that make them different. When I was a kid, I was called names because I was short and I got sick a lot. Sometimes, people might say something that is mean even if they didn’t realize it. In these circumstances, it’s important to realize that the effect of the bully is far more important than the bully’s intentions.”

 

“The third kind of bullying is social bullying. This is any time that a bully says bad things about you to other people, usually false things, to make people think bad things of you. When I was a kid, and I was sick, people always spread rumors that I had died, and so people felt uncomfortable talking to me when I came back to school. Like with verbal bullying, even if the made-up stories the bully says weren’t with the goal to hurt the person, if the bully does hurt that person, they’re still a bully.

 

“The fourth kind of bullying is cyberbullying. Cyberbullying wasn’t around when I was a kid, but it’s easy enough to understand. Cyberbullying is any time a bully does any variation of verbal or social bullying through an online medium. Cyberbullying also includes posting embarrassing pictures and sending secret threats.

 

“The fifth kind of bullying is sexual bullying,” Stephanie said. The show paused.

 

“Wait, you’re gonna talk to kids about this?” Claire asked.

 

“Do you think kids don’t experience it?” Stephanie asked. “They do, so they should know about it.  There is a version in the episode select without this sequence for, like, elementary kids. But even elementary kids have some idea what sex is and are capable of bullying others about it.”

 

“And you’re fine with Jimmy seeing this?” Toni asked. “He might have questions.”

 

“Yeah, we exist in a world with sex, he’ll learn about it eventually, no point it trying to make it seem like it’s bad or shameful,” Stephanie said. “If he has questions, I’m prepared to answer. However, he seems far more interested in his pizza.”

 

Sure enough, the toddler was playing with the gooey, stringy cheese between his two hands like it was play-doh. He did not care at all about the video on the television or the conversation the adults were having.

 

“Did your mom tell you about it?” Toni asked.

 

“Oh, absolutely,” Stephanie said. “Her mom was a midwife, and she was a nurse. I asked how babies were made when I was eight, and I got the full lecture.”

 

“The more you know,” Nat said. “Resume, please.”

 

“Sexual bullying is similar to both physical and verbal bullying. This is any time that a person touches you inappropriately or without your permission, says, insinuates or shows vulgar things, or propositions you to do sexual actions. People made fun of my body while I was growing up, and when I was older, sometimes boys would say vulgar things or try to touch me inappropriately and without my permission. Even if someone doesn’t think they're inappropriate, that doesn’t mean you’re not getting hurt.”

 

“The last kid of bullying is prejudicial bullying. This is an added form of bullying and can involve any of the other types of bullying. Prejudicial bullying means bullying people because of the color of the skin, where they come from, how much money they have, what religion they practice, what gender they are, who they love, or any disabilities they might have. When I was little, I was bullied a lot because my family were immigrants from Ireland, and some of the kids didn’t like people who came from somewhere else.”

 

The show paused again, “This is… not funny,” Toni said.

 

“Yes, it isn’t funny,” Stephanie said. “It’s informative and educational for school-age children and teenagers. “Were you expecting something embarrassing?”

 

“Yep,” Nat said. “School PSAs are always supposed to be weird.”

 

“You’re just… cozy and factual,” Toni said. “And also depressing. You had an example of you getting bullied for everything but cyberbullying because the internet didn’t exist yet. That’s just sad.”

 

“That I was bullied a lot or the internet didn’t exist yet?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Yes,” Toni said.

 

 

“I’m bowuhed,” James said.

 

“Good,” Stephanie said. “Tell Aunt Toni what you want to watch.”

 

“Do you have a Disney?” James asked.

 

“A Disney, huh,” Toni said. “JARVIS, do we have a Disney?”

 

“We have many Disney movies available, ma’am, I suggest a classic animated movie. Cinderella is a personal favorite of yours if I recall.”

 

“How about it, wanna watch Cinderella?” Toni asked.

 

“Yeah, Cindewewa,” James said. “Mommy, eat,” he handed Stephanie the remains of pizza.

 

“Just a minute, Bubba, you’re covered in sauce,” Stephanie said. She wrestled him onto her lap so she could wipe the pizza bits off his mouth and hands. “Now, go bother Toni and Pepper.”

 

James took his mother’s command in stride and with a running bound, jumped onto Toni and Pepper and curled up between them. Stephanie cleaned up the remains of her son’s dinner while the movie began, found an unopened box of veggie pizza, stretched her legs out on the couch, and ate as the film started.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Being completely honest, I'm not very religious. A lot of the scripture talk at the beginning of this chapter was compiled through conversation with religious friends and some online articles:  
> https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/assault/bible/doesnotoppose.html  
> https://www.gaychurch.org/homosexuality-and-the-bible/the-bible-christianity-and-homosexuality/  
> https://www.hrc.org/blog/debunking-the-myth-the-bible-tells-me-homosexuality-is-an-abomination
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading.


	3. History

 

“Toni, are you with me?” Dr. Kafka asked.

 

“Sorry, doc,” Toni said. “Late night. I’m a little dreary, what were you saying?”

 

“I was asking you to expand a bit on what you said the other day about your regrets,” Kafka said. “Our time ran out before we could really expand on it in depth, but I was curious if you want to talk  about it. Your regrets.”

 

“Oh, well, you know, I have the normal ones,” Toni said. “I regret putting Pepper in harm’s way. I regret all the lives I haven’t been able to save. I regret the time when I was a dumb, naive rich girl and I let the comfort of my wealth shield me from the depressing reality of the military-industrial complex. Your normal regrets.”

 

“Ones you’re working to learn from,” Kafka said.

 

“Well, those. Some of the older ones, there’s nothing I can do.” Toni said. “Like my parents.”

 

“Expand on that for me, please,” Kafka said.

 

“Well, is it weird I’ve always blamed myself for my parents' death?” Toni asked.

 

“They died in a car accident.”

 

“Yeah, with clear visibility on a well-paved road with nobody around. Nobody said it despite everybody suspecting it, but Daddy was probably drunk. And, well, I was the reason he liked to drink.”

 

“But you don’t know that,” Kafka said.

 

“Yeah, I don’t know a lot of things about Daddy dearest,” Toni sighed. “I didn’t know he was a founding member of S.H.I.E.L.D. until about three years ago. I didn’t know he was such good friends with Cap until I became friends with Stephanie. I didn’t know - I didn’t know if he loved me. I imagine, maybe he did in his own way, but I also know he despised me. But do I even know that? Because I have this story in my head that he sent me off to boarding school because I was a disgrace, that he put a wall between me and his work because he didn’t trust me with it. But I really didn’t understand the implications of what he did, did I? What Stark Industries did, what he did with S.H.I.E.L.D., and I regret never trying to find out when I still had the chance to talk to him how he felt about me, to just talk to him. And he’s gone, and I’ll never know.”

 

Kafka took a deep sigh and looked at Toni expectantly. Toni rolled her eyes and took deep breaths while Kafka spoke, “Perhaps your father is gone, but there had to be people around him who knew him, people you can speak to. You said Stephanie was his friend.”

 

“Before,” Toni said. “Before she went into the ice and he founded S.H.I.E.L.D. - And it sounds like that fundamentally changed him as a person.”

 

“There has to be someone,” Kafka said.

 

“Yeah,” Toni said. “I suppose… he founded S.H.I.E.L.D. with Stephanie’s Gal Pal Peggy Carter. She’s actually been talking to Peggy recently. Peggy called her after seeing Captain America on T.V. to yell at her about why she’s back and didn’t see her. But she’s got Alzheimer’s.”

 

“That doesn’t mean she forgot everything,” Kafka said. “Clearly she remembers enough to know Stephanie and have conversations with her. It wouldn’t be a bad idea. I actually recommend looking for answers, they might give you some much-needed closure. Have you ever met Peggy Carter before?”

 

“I - a few times,” Toni said.

 

Three, to be exact. 

 

Toni remembered all of them.

 

* * *

 

 

The first time, Toni was five years old. It was the summer before her father sent her off to the boarding school for the first time. The day before he told her he would, in fact. Edwin Jarvis, the butler, was supposed to be watching her. She had outwitted him and set off wandering through the mansion to find her Daddy. 

 

“Howard, you have to do something, these threats are only going to get worse,” A woman’s voice said. She remembered it because it was similar to the Jarvises'.

 

“Like what?” Howard asked.

 

That’s when young Toni decided to open the door and burst into the room to interrupt the conversation. 

 

“Toni! What are you doing here? Jarvis was supposed to be watching you!” Howard exclaimed. He covered the papers on his desk as if Toni would be able to read them from across the room. “What have I told you about interrupting me when I’m working?”

 

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Toni said. “I wanted to show you-”

 

“No - I’m busy - I’ll call Jarvis and have him fetch you-”

 

“No need, Howard,” Peggy Carter said sternly. She looked regal, in a dark blue skirt and blazer, with her warm brown hair in neat curls, strands of silver glimmered as she shifted her head, with locks of silver concentrated at temples. “I can take the dear while you clean up. Hello, Toni. You may not remember me, I haven’t seen you since you were very small. My name is Peggy Carter, I work with your father.”

 

“You’re pretty,” Toni said.

 

“Thank you, darling,” Peggy said. “Now, would you mind escorting me to where I may find Mr. Jarvis? He’s a dear old friend.”

 

“He is old,” Toni agreed. “Come with me,” she lead Peggy through the halls to where she knew Jarvis would be in his search through her through the mansion.

 

“Miss Stark!” Jarvis exclaimed. “What have I told you about running off, oh, my, Miss Carter.”

 

“Mister Jarvis,” Peggy said. “Good to see you again. How is Ana?”

 

“Lovely,” Jarvis said. “It’s been quite a while since you’ve come around.”

 

“Well, you know how Howard is about keeping home and work separate,” Peggy said. “I am sorry, it’s not for lack of trying, I assure you. But I understand his concerns.”

 

“I am sorry to hear about Miss Martinelli,” Jarvis said.

 

“Oh, Angie will be fine,” Peggy said with a sad smile. “She’s been given far worse news. And the doctors are certain that they’ve caught it early enough she’ll be right as rain after surgery.”

 

“Still, a tumor is a frightening thing,” Jarvis said. “I’ll be sure to bake a batch of cookies to improve her health. Are gingersnaps still her favorite?”

 

“Of course,” Peggy smiled. “I have to go back and help Howard with the latest… conundrum,” she glanced at Toni meaningfully. Then she turned to the girl “It was lovely to see you again, Toni, dear.”

 

“Goodbye Miss Carter!” Toni said, shaking her hand.

 

* * *

 

 

The second time Toni met Peggy Carter, she was fourteen years old, and her father had invited guests around for dinner. It was supposed to be a special event for important people from Stark Industries, and Toni was told that she was not supposed to be in attendance. Her mother tried to kindly assure her that it was just because her father knew she would be bored, but Toni was furious that she was banished from a party she had no desire to attend. She was tinkering with the small robot on her desk. She set down her tools. Screw it. She started blasting a Queen record while she got ready for the party, it wouldn’t be the first one she crashed.

 

She grabbed the first dress in her closet appropriate for a summer soiree and laid it on her bed. Her curling iron and hairspray and hairbrush went to work at fluffing her hair into full, feathery curls. She selected a vibrant pink gloss pot for her lips, and frosted blue eyeshadow for her eyes under heavy liner and mascara. She pulled on a dress with layers of ruffled tulle and puffed sleeves, a gaudy pair of dangling diamond earrings, and spritzed herself with a stolen bottle of her mother’s Chanel perfume.

 

When she descended to the main floor, the party was in full swing, but the people recognized her. “Toni Stark, you managed to come!” they said. They were glad to meet her. Shaking hands, smiles, compliments. Toni was getting high from it all. She was also getting overwhelmed. She made her way to the kitchen because there were only alcoholic beverages she could find and she didn’t want to drink in public. She had, of course, sampled pilfered wine in the dorms. But this was in society. She was used to keeping a lot of things private in public. While in the kitchen, messing around with a glass of water, she heard arguing coming from the pantry.

 

“I don’t like him, Howard,” Peggy said. “In fact, I’m afraid of him. I don’t trust him. And I don’t like these changes.”

 

“You told me that I need to balance my workload and that I need to prioritize,” Toni’s father said. “This is how I’m prioritizing. Stane will do a wonderful job as my COO and managing Stark  Industries while I focus on more important things.”

 

“Like your daughter?”

 

“What - no!” Toni hated how much vitriol her father had when he spat out the word ‘no.’ “Like security. Protecting the world. My job.”

 

“It was never your job,” Peggy said. “In fact, I wonder now if it was ever my job. We’ve done too much, Howard. We’ve lost so many people that we’re becoming lost. That’s what I came here to tell you.”

 

“To tell me?” Howard asked.

 

“Take a break, Howard,” Peggy said. “Your daughter is going off to M.I.T. in the fall - she’s fourteen! It’s time to be there for her.”

 

“You just want her to join me, to join us.”

 

“She’s brilliant. Do you mean to tell me you don’t want her to be part of your legacy? That this isn’t what you’re training her for? With the school and the iron fist?”

 

“I don’t want Toni to get anywhere near our work. I don’t want her to know about it. I want her to stay as far away from me and you as I possibly can.”

 

“You’ve done a wonderful job, Howard. At this very moment, she’s eavesdropping on the other side of the door,” Peggy said. Toni panicked. She tried to race out of the kitchen, but not before her father wrenched the door open with fire and brimstone in his eyes. Peggy Carter pulled him back from his rage physically, exerting a lot more power than one would expect from a sixty-three-year-old woman. “If you touch her I’ll hurt you in turn,” Peggy whispered.

 

“Toni - go to your room,” Howard said. “If you come downstairs again, I’ll take your tools until you move to Massachusetts.”

 

“Yes,  _ Daddy _ ,” Toni spat, charging through the middle of the party, sobbing. When the guests swiveled around to see who it was responsible, they saw Howard looking stern.

 

* * *

 

 

The third and last time that Toni met Peggy Carter was December of 1991, on the day of her parents’ funeral. The funeral was respectable, with a large number of well-wishers in attendance. Toni was mostly numb through the whole ordeal. And drunk. She was twenty-one, and she was going to drink in public to her heart’s content, which always meant nearly sobbing into a glass of wine during the funeral service while wandering through the sea of black-swathed bodies.

 

“Toni,” A kind voice said. Toni turned to face the source and was startled to see Peggy Carter. The woman looked well for seventy years, although her hair was now entirely silver, and tied  back in a low bun. “You may not remember me, my name is Peggy Carter.”

 

Toni did remember her, but she shook her head, pretending she didn’t.

 

“I was a friend of Howard’s a, a dear friend,” She sniffled. “I am so sorry for your loss. Losing people is very hard, impossibly hard. Darling, if you ever need anything, do not hesitate to ask,” Peggy said, handing Toni a business card. Toni glanced at the eagle insignia in the corner. “There was a lot about your father you didn’t know, and if you ever have any questions, I would be more than happy to answer them.”

 

“Thanks, Miss Carter,” Toni said. “You’re very kind.”

 

Peggy Carter seemed to realize Toni wasn’t eager to chat and gave her a nod, let out another sniffle, and then she vanished in the sea of black-clothed guests.

 

Toni had thrown the business card and all of the sympathy gifts out as soon as she got home. Except for the booze, that, she drank. And she drank. And she drank.

 

* * *

 

 

Toni was sitting at the driver’s seat of her prototype StarkCar. Beside her, Stephanie was sending an email off of her phone. In the back, James was in a car seat, courtesy of Toni so Toni could take him on drives like these. They drove up the driveway of the expensive retirement home, parked, and climbed out of the car.

 

“Welcome back, Mrs. Barnes,” the receptionist said. “Here for Miss Carter, I assume?”

 

“I am, how’s Peg today?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Excellent, it’s a wonderful day for everyone,” The receptionist said. “Who’s your friend?”

 

“Uh,” Toni smiled. “My dad was friends with Miss Carter.”

 

“Oh, good,” The receptionist smiled and nodded at Toni blankly. She didn’t recognize her. “Well, you know the way, Mrs. Barnes.”

 

“Don’t take it personally,” Stephanie said as she led Toni to Peggy’s room. “Marguerite has terrible eyesight, she let me in for the first month because she thought I was Peggy’s niece, Sharon. It was quite a shock to everyone when we both arrived one day.”

 

“So you’re saying you faked your identity to see your ex-girlfriend for a month?” Toni asked. “And you pretended to be your ex-girlfriend’s niece? Did Peggy play along?”

 

“Apparently, on bad days, Peggy used to think Sharon was me, so when Marguerite saw Peggy calling me, who she thought was Sharon, Stephanie, she assumed Peggy was having a bad day,” Stephanie exclaimed. “Of course, the good news about the end of our Comedy of Errors is I was able to finally start bringing James.”

 

Stephanie knocked on the door.

 

“Come in,” Peggy called. “Ah, Stephanie! I thought I heard you. And did you bring my darling boy?”

 

“I think he came out of me, Peggy,” Stephanie said, lowering James onto the floor. He scampered over, slightly off balance, to where Peggy was sitting in a rocking chair by the window. Toni looked around the room. There were pictures drawn by Stephanie hanging over Peggy’s bed. Peggy had her glasses perched on her nose, and was reading a book in her lap. James climbed up the side of the rocking chair and settled in Peggy’s lap. She laughed.

 

“Why, hello, James,” She said. “You’re more handsome every day, I swear.”

 

“We bwought Aunt Toni!” James declared happily as Peggy brushed his hair out of his face.

 

“I hope it’s okay, she asked to come,” Stephanie said.

 

“Of course, Howard’s daughter,” Peggy said with a sad, wrinkled smile. “Miss Stark, I’m not sure if you remember me.”

 

“I do,” Toni said. “Some things, at least. You were at my parent’s funeral. And this party when I was fourteen. And I think I remember you and Jarvis when I was five.”

 

Peggy smiled, “It’s good to see you, Toni. Is it alright if I call you Toni?”

 

“Please do,” Toni said.

 

“So, why did you come, today, Toni?” Peggy asked.

 

“Twenty-two years ago,” Toni winced as she realized how long it had been, “At their funeral. You said if I had any questions about Daddy, you would be more than happy to answer?”

 

“And it took two decades for you to finally have questions?” Peggy asked.

 

“Something like that,” Toni nodded.

 

“What do you want to know?” Peggy asked.

 

“What was he like? What was he actually like when he met my mother when I came along when I was a kid. Because the more I look back on my past, the more I think I never had any idea what he was actually like. I just hated him.”

 

“Well, you hated him with good reason,” Peggy Carter said. “Howard was a fool, and he deserved the consequences of his actions. You both ought to sit down and get comfortable because I’ve wanted to tell you about Howard Stark and S.H.I.E.L.D. It’d be one of my greatest regrets if these secrets died with me.”

 

Stephanie and Toni sat down.

 

“It was in 1946 that Howard called me about his idea to make a new agency, as the SSR was fading. We had spoken about it before, after seeing what HYDRA got its hands on during the war, there needed to be something to handle those sorts of objects. People that were capable and qualified. We were supposed to start when he got back from Monaco, but when he came back to the states, he was wanted by just about every federal agency. You see, someone had stolen his bad babies - the prototypes he created to never be used. He went back to Europe to track down some of them before they hit the black market, Mr. Jarvis and I were tasked to help find those responsible in the states and retrieve stolen samples of nitramene.”

 

“Wait, Jarvis helped you? My old butler?” Toni asked.

 

“Yes, he fancied himself a sidekick of sorts,” Peggy said.

 

“Okay, what’s nitramene?” Toni asked.

 

“When you saturate organic material with too many Vita rays, it produces nitramene, which can be an explosive substance,” Stephanie explained. “It was a by-product of us trying to create super soldiers.”

 

“Jarvis and I discovered a conspiracy between Roxxon and Leviathan, a Russian agency after tracking the Vita radiation. We safely disposed of the Vita-Rays and lead the SSR to the suppliers of Howard’s stolen weapons, but they assumed he was part of the conspiracy. I never liked him. And then, of course, he decided he ought to come back to direct me to steal one of the confiscated items - the Blitzkrieg button. He insisted it was a dangerous weapon, and he was right, in some ways. It was your genetic sample, Stephanie. He kept a vial.” Peggy shook his head. “I clocked him good for that. The SSR had a cryptography dilemma I solved, and I got to go on the mission to Belarus with the Commandos again leading the old boys to a Russian training facility where young children became weapons of destruction.”

 

“Sounds like Nat,” Stephanie said.

 

“Yes, it was the origin for Agent Romanoff, an early version of the Red Room, of course. Back then, they did not teach them to perform gender. We brought back two individuals, a girl, and her doctor. Little did we know this doctor was actually the orchestrator of it all, and a hypnotist at that. Well, I suppose it all sorted out. We found out that he hated Howard for a mistake made during the war resulting in casualties. And after I managed to take down Dottie  Underwood, Yelena, whatever her name was - a Russian agent - and free Howard from Ivenchko’s hypnotism. His name was cleared, of course, I never got any credit. Then there was the debacle in Los Angeles with Isodyne energy, but that’s another story. The point is, once Howard was cleared, we started working in secret to develop the agency S.H.I.E.L.D., and with General Phillips’ sponsorship, we managed to get permission to start the agency in 1949, having secretly already constructed three facilities before. The SSR was completely dissolved a year later, and Howard and I picked up what was left of the SSR, and what we liked, to start the new agency. Of course, we made mistakes very early on. I won’t bore you with the details, also I’m ashamed of some of them. We made sacrificed for the perceived greater good, some I wish we hadn’t. But there was so much fear at the time, at the start of the nuclear age, we didn’t realize until in retrospect that the very foundations of the agency were rotten.

“Your father worked incessantly, either he was dedicated to S.H.I.E.L.D or Stark Industries, but always his inventions, for nearly twenty years. It was hard to start the agency, to solidify its role in international security. Every time anything bad happened. Every mistake we made. Every life we lost, he didn’t know how to let go. It was always his fault, even when it wasn’t. And that wasn’t good for him. It made him scared, it made him hard, it made him build walls around himself to keep everyone, even me, out. He said it was to protect us, but I always knew it was to protect him. Losing you, Stephanie, put a scar on all of our hearts. But he didn’t have the temperament for pain after that. He pushed people away, he succumbed to his vices, he lost control. I thought Maria would be good for him. Usually, I never would have approved of a man with a woman twenty years his junior,” Peggy smiled, “But she was much more mature than he was. She wasn’t a child when they met, she was a responsible adult, nearly thirty. And she was good for him. She curbed some of the drinking, she talked to him about the hard things. And he was happy, for a while.”

 

“And then I came along?” Toni asked, deflating.

 

“Yes,” Peggy said. “When you were born, something incensed in Howard. He became obsessed not just with peace, but with his legacy. He wanted to ensure that you grew up in a utopia, and the older you got, the harder he worked, and the more he realized he was going to fail. But it wasn’t just his monomaniacal obsession with his work that made him forget to spend time with his family, it was his fear. Toni, you were brilliant at a young age. I knew it, Jarvis knew it, Howard knew it. And Howard had seen what happens to brilliant, charismatic little girls in our line of work. They’re trained, exploited, crafted into soldiers and spies. He was terrified the same would happen to you. For care for you or just the consequences of what you could become, I can't say I was ever sure. And it didn’t improve things that people now used the fact that he had a wife and child to threaten him, both as they knew him as a member of the World Security Council and founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. and as the head of a massive global company. To protect you, and by extension, himself, he sent you to the Schillian school. Their students included the daughters of emissaries and politicians, international businessmen, media moguls, and similar people of influence and wealth who needed their family to be protected. He kept you from his work because he didn’t want it to poison you as it did him. I told him he was naive to think the way he treated you wouldn’t have consequences. I told him that he was cruel to care about his pain more than yours. I told him that you would suffer from his refusal to admit his own weakness and ask for help. He didn’t care. In his mind, lying to you, neglecting you, berating you, punishing you, ridiculing you, sending you off, it was all for your own good.” Peggy sighed. “And so, he was a fool.”

 

“I remember you didn’t like Stane,” Toni said. “And my dad yelled about how much he didn’t want me to be near his work. I always thought it was because he hated me.”

 

“It was his misguided attempt to protect you. He took Stane on early on to help him balance his conflicting responsibilities with S.H.I.E.L.D. and Stark Industries. I saw Stane using Howard’s vulnerabilities to gain more power early on, and I saw him succeed. Your father was a _terrible_ judge of character.”

 

“And my dad - the drinking wasn’t just because of me, was it? It was also because of the job. Because of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

 

“Howard couldn’t handle the responsibilities. He built the modern world onto his own shoulders, and he suffered,” Peggy said.

 

“So, I didn’t kill him,” Toni said.

 

“Of course not,” Peggy said. “And, even if you were the only reason to drink, you didn’t kill him.”

 

“Because he was at the wheel and it was his decision?” Toni asked.

 

“And because he didn’t drink the night he died,” Peggy said. “I don’t know why he crashed the car. I’ve never been able to figure it out. But his toxicology was clean. The only theory I’ve ever found any ground to is that the accident was intentional by a third party.”

 

“You think he was assassinated?” Toni asked.

 

“In our line of work, it’s not uncommon,” Peggy said. “He was acting incredibly paranoid right before his death, but calling Howard paranoid was like calling the sky blue. I never found any evidence for or against my theory. I just… I’ve got too much experience. I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have told you that-”

 

“No, I’m glad you did,” Toni said.

 

“I just, I still have a hard time believing Howard changed so much,” Stephanie sighed.

 

“Well, we all changed when you died, Stephanie,” Peggy said. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but that is the reality.” She cleared her throat. “You were Howard’s moral compass. He depended on you more than he should’ve, and he never learned to develop any sense of ethics independent of you. You told him if he went too far, and he changed what he thought your advice would have been in his head to justify what he did. You told us when we were overthinking about the war and not about the people. We sometimes forgot to remember you when we were trying to protect your legacy. Or what we thought your legacy was supposed to be. A shield to protect the people from what they wouldn’t understand,” she sighed. “A lot of good we did.”

 

“That’s probably why Dad never shut up about you,” Toni said with dawning realization. “He wanted me to be more like you because you were his voice of reason. He didn’t want me to end up like him.”

 

“I wonder, sometimes, what life would’ve been like if I hadn’t given up and crashed the glacier into the sea,” Stephanie said.

 

“Don’t,” Toni said. “Thinking about the past, the what-ifs and the maybes, it’s not good for your mental health. It’s good to seek answers for what people kept from you, but it’s bad to blame yourself constantly about what you didn’t do, or a different version of reality you failed to make.”

 

“Miss Stark, you sound like your mother,” Peggy said. “Anything else?”

 

“Yeah, one more question,” Toni said. “I’m engaged to a woman. Would my father have had a problem with that?”

 

Peggy smiled, “No. He wouldn’t have an issue with it. Stephanie, would you mind pulling out my scrapbook?”

 

Stephanie stood up and pulled the leather bound journal from Peggy’s bedside table. Peggy flipped through the pages and settled onto one of her and another woman sitting on a couch together, arms thrown around each other’s shoulders, laughing. The subtitle read  _ Peggy and Angie: Stark’s Christmas Party ‘53 _ . She flipped to a picture of Peggy and Angie with the Eiffel Tower in the background, the two women beaming at the camera. There they were again at the Hagia Sophia, Roman Colosseum, and Big Ben. As Peggy flipped through the sketchbook and Toni watched as the two women aged, but their smiles never faded.

 

“Is that your wife?” Toni asked.

 

“We never had a chance to officially get married,” Peggy said. “She passed away in 1995. But we were together for nearly fifty years. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.”

 


	4. Fantasy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a warning, they read bad Captain America smut in this chapter. It's not very explicit, but it is all from real books with names changed for the right characters — sources provided in endnotes.

 

Stephanie woke up feeling like a pound of rocks was sitting on her chest. She felt every batter and bruise. She tried to sit up, her first thought being James. Why did she think about James? Did she mean Bucky? Bucky fell. She looked around. It was dark. It was night. She looked past the dark. It was a hospital. She was wearing a scratchy blue and white dress with string ties in the back. An army nurse with her hair perfectly coiffed leaned over, noticed she was awake and offered her a smile, “Glad to have you back, Captain.”

 

“Where am I?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Canada,” she said. “CFB Goose Bay. A Naval vessel found you in the wreckage in the Labrador Sea. Shipped you here.”

 

“What day is it?” Stephanie asked.

 

“February nineteenth,” The nurse said.

 

“What year?” Stephanie asked.

 

“1945, of course,” The nurse said with a laugh. “Are you alright? I’ll fetch the doctor.”

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie came to again a while later. Sitting by her bedside was Peggy. Young Peggy. Not that Peggy was ever not young. She shook herself.

 

“Good morning,” Peggy said.

 

“I’m alive,” Stephanie said weakly.

 

“I can see that,” Peggy said with a soft smile. “How did you manage to survive?”

 

“I think - I think I jumped,” Stephanie said. “I hit the water - it was so cold - and I swam until I couldn’t.”

 

“Well, you’re alive,” Peggy said. “And you’re not the only one.”

 

“What do you mean?” Stephanie asked.

 

“We found a body in the Alps a few days ago,” Peggy said, “It’s James. Your husband is alive, Stephanie.”

 

“He’s alive?” Stephanie gasped. “Is - is he alright?”

 

“He’ll live,” Peggy said. “His surgeries were successful, but he sustained a lot of damage.”

 

“Him being alive is a goddamn miracle,” Stephanie said. “When can I see him? When is he good to move?”

 

“We’re moving both of you to a hospital in New York,” Peggy said. “And then, I suppose you can decide if you want to return to active duty-”

 

“Actually, Agent Carter, I wouldn’t recommend that,” The doctor said. “We finally have the results of your blood test, Captain. The good news is that there are no signs of infection. The other news is that you have signs of human chorionic gonadotropin.”

 

“What does that mean?” Peggy asked.

 

“I’m pregnant,” Stephanie replied.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time they arrived in New York, Stephanie had already received a clean bill of health, her injuries were wholly gone thanks to the serum. She and Peggy went to the hospital dressed in civilian clothes. Stephanie had a heavy coat disguising the swell above her hips. Together, they went up to the floor where Bucky was.

 

“I can’t believe it, he’s alive, I feel like I’m dreaming,” Stephanie said as they rode up in the elevator.

 

They walked down the brightly lit hallway together, Stephanie was chanting the room number in her head as they did, eyes glancing at the plaques on the doors until she stopped in front of Bucky’s room, number 317.

 

“Go on,” Peggy said encouragingly. Stephanie stepped into the room. And there her husband was, lying on the bed. His face was pale and gaunt, illuminated by the sunlight. His hair wasn’t styled but fell across his forehead in a mess. Stephanie ran her hand along the edge of the bed as she approached the chair beside her husband. She tangled her fingers through those of his left hand and sat down.

 

“How many surgeries did he have?” Stephanie asked. Peggy skimmed the chart at the end of his bed.

 

“Four,” Peggy said. “Two of which were amputations.”

 

“Amputations?” Stephanie asked.

 

“He broke both of his legs in the fall, they became infected,” Peggy said. “They had to remove both above the knee, they say here.”

 

Stephanie ran a hand through his hair, “Oh, Buck.” She started to cry, “At least you’re alive.”

 

He blinked slowly in response to her fingers slowly carding through his messy hair, his brow furrowed as he looked up at her. He realized what he was looking at, and he sighed in relief. A bright, crooked smile spread across his face, “You aren’t getting rid of me that easily,” he croaked.

 

She choked out a sob, somehow both crying and laughing at her husband, “I thought I lost you,” she said.

 

“Don’t you know, Steph?” he rasped. “I’m with you until the end of the line.”

 

“I know,” Stephanie said, letting her hand brush along the side of his face.

 

“Is the war over?” he asked.

 

“Not yet, but we’re getting close,” Stephanie said.

 

“So when are we going back?” Bucky asked.

 

“We aren’t,” Stephanie said. “Buck, you’re discharged. Your injuries-”

 

“You’re not going alone.”

 

“I’m not going at all,” Stephanie said. “Your fault. You knocked me up.”

 

“What?” Bucky asked.

 

“I’m pregnant,” Stephanie smiled. “And I have the serum now, so I know I’m not going to lose this one.”

 

“How- how far along-”

 

“Fourteen weeks, they say,” Stephanie said. “But it’s gonna go faster, I can feel it. I bet the baby’ll be here and healthy in five months instead of nine. And I’m  _ exhausted _ \- but I’m fine. We’re  fine.” 

 

“What about the commandos?” Bucky asked.

 

“I’ve been given permission,” Peggy said from where she stood at the end of his bed. “To work with the Howling Commandos to round up the remnants of HYDRA and ensure they suffer the consequences they deserve. We estimate that the war will soon end because we’re pushing on German territory from the east and the west. The Pacific theater is a bit more complicated, but we hope the Japanese will surrender with the Germans and the Italians.”

 

“So, we’re trading out Captain America for Miss Union Jack?” Bucky asked.

 

“Something like that,” Peggy said. “Please don’t say that to Howard, I don’t want some striped tactical suit.”

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie and Bucky sold their little apartment in Park Slope and moved into a larger, nicer building down the street from the rest of the Barnes family. Peggy returned from Europe in early June to return to her SSR job in Manhattan, and she moved in with the couple. On July 16th, 1945, Stephanie went into labor and brought Joseph Howard Barnes into the world. Unbeknownst to her, on the same day, Howard Stark was watching the first nuclear detonation in New Mexico.

 

When Stephanie found out that Howard was responsible for the offensive weapon that was dropped on Hiroshima and again on Nagasaki, she screamed at him. She screamed at him until her throat was raw and her face was streaked with tears. She screamed at him until he apologized to her. “I had no idea they would use it on a civilian target.”

 

“You don’t get to know!” Stephanie screamed. “Once you make these things - you give them the right to kill whoever they please. But the blood is still on your hands.”

 

“What do you want me to do, Steph?” Howard asked.

 

“Promise me, Howard, no more weapons,” She said. “You’ve outdone yourself with the last one. The world will never be the same. It would be arrogant to try to make more.”

 

“But-”

 

“If you can’t promise me that, Howard, I never want to see your face again,” Stephanie said.

 

“I promise,” Howard said. “I promise - I’ll lock up my designs and my prototypes. I promise I’ll never make another weapon again. The war is over.”

 

“The war is over,” Stephanie agreed.

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie did not resume her employment at Stark Industries as Howard’s lab assistant but instead was dedicated to taking care of her son and her husband while doing freelance marketing work for Howard. The money from MGM studios kept rolling in for her wartime movie and all the propaganda and merchandise. Peggy lived with them. They claimed that she slept in the spare bedroom beside the nursery, but she actually shared theirs. She was undervalued in her job at the SSR despite being the most capable agent in New York. The three of them and Howard were talking about what should happen when the SSR was dissolved. Stephanie and Bucky agreed with Peggy and Howard that they needed an alternative agency, one that would be able to deal with the sort of things that they found HYDRA using during the war.

 

When Howard returned from Monaco a fugitive, the SSR had Bucky and Stephanie interviewed in their apartment. Stephanie had Joseph in her arms, and she sat on the couch while Bucky was beside her in his wheelchair.

 

“Did you know anything about the weapons Howard put on the black market?” Agent Thompson asked.

 

“He promised me he was done making and distributing weapons,” Stephanie said, looking annoyed. “I suppose he lied.”

 

“Why did you make him promise to stop making weapons?”

 

“Because the atomic bomb was dropped on civilian targets, and he helped make it,” Stephanie said.

 

“You’re saying you don’t approve of America ending the war, Ma’am?”

 

“I don’t approve of the murder of children, that was why I joined the army, Agent,” Stephanie said. “I didn’t approve of locking people up because of their ethnicity. Little did I know what we were doing to the Japanese until it was too late. You could say I’m quite dissatisfied with America.”

 

“You’re Captain America.”

 

“Not anymore, thankfully,” Stephanie said. “If you need any help with any of Howard’s creations, I may have overseen the production of some when I was his lab assistant. If you don’t have any more questions relevant to the case, I would appreciate it if you left.”

 

“Of course, ma’am,” Thompson said. He left.

 

“What an ass,” Bucky said as he left.

 

“Hopefully, Peggy will find the missing nitramene sooner than later, and it can lead her to whoever stole from his storage facility and put it on the black market,” Stephanie said.

 

* * *

 

 

Peggy was out that night to follow a lead, dressed in a sparkly dress and a blonde wig. Stephanie put Joseph to bed and then helped Bucky to bed. While she was getting ready to settle down for the night, she heard the floorboards creaking. But it wasn’t Peggy, she was far lighter than the sounds Stephanie was hearing.

 

“Steph-” Bucky said,

 

“Shush,” Stephanie said. She retrieved a pistol from the locked nightstand drawer. “I’ll deal with it.”

 

“It could be my mother-”

 

“It’s not,” Stephanie said. “Not this late.” She opened the bedroom door and kept her back to the wall, her feet at the edges of the floorboards, so they didn’t creak as she made her way down the hall. She heard rustling coming from the guest bedroom. Whoever it was, they were here for Peggy. She slipped around the doorway and pointed the gun at the green-clothed back of the man who had broken into her house.

 

“Drop the gun, turn around, hands up,” Stephanie said sharply. The man stilled. Then she saw him jolt toward her. She pulled the trigger.

 

“Steph?” Bucky called.

 

“I’m fine!” Stephanie exclaimed. “He’s not.”

 

Joseph was wailing in the other room.

 

* * *

 

 

They found that the green man was linked to Howard’s items being on the black market, but it still took some more secret police work by Peggy and Jarvis for the SSR to finally admit that Howard was innocent and arrest the Russians responsible. Dottie Underwood, the femme fatale, escaped, for now.

 

Stephanie, Bucky, Peggy, and Howard got Colonel Phillips onto their plan to create an agency to replace the fading SSR. The first facility was in New Jersey, at the old SSR base where Peggy and Stephanie oversaw the training of the first Rebirth cohort. The second was further south, in Virginia. The agency, S.H.I.E.L.D., was officially created in 1949. That same year, Stephanie found out she was expecting her second child.

 

Joseph got a little brother, Michael George Barnes. Howard led the science division. Peggy oversaw espionage and training. Stephanie and Bucky worked in administration. Phillips was their director for eight years until he suffered from a heart attack and decided to retire. The agency hit hard waters early on when they wanted to let Nazi and HYDRA scientists serve their sentences by working for the government. Stephanie was adamant that they would not accept anyone like that into S.H.I.E.L.D.

 

“What did we call the people who allied themselves with Hitler because they cared about national security, or they wanted resources, or they hoped to strengthen Germany’s community?” Stephanie asked. “We called them Nazis, didn’t we? Because to convocate with a Nazi is to be a Nazi.”

 

“Everyone else is doing it,” Howard said.

 

“So? We’re not the CIA. The FBI. We’re S.H.I.E.L.D. They may do it one way, but we’re supposed to do it better. If you let a single HYDRA agent - a single Nazi into this agency, I’m gone,”  Stephanie said.

 

“As am I,” Peggy said.

 

“Me too,” Bucky insisted.

 

When Stephanie became the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. in 1957, she and Peggy had five kids between the two of them. Stephanie had Joseph, Michael, and Sarah. Peggy had Abraham and Elizabeth. That’s when Stephanie, Peggy, and Bucky all mutually agreed that five was plenty. 

 

* * *

 

 

Stark Industries was not a weapons developer, but it did everything else. It built the computers, rockets, and satellites that would propel America through the space race. It developed and mass-marketed revolutionary forms of public transportation, and put in place a privatized infrastructure with government subsidies. It revolutionized agriculture and medicine, gave aid to foreign countries, and combatted the Soviet Union not with weapons, but with the rare and elusive ethical capitalism.

 

Howard Stark was fifty years old when he fell in love with Maria Carbonell, an amateur on Broadway. She was the daughter of Italian immigrants who fled Italian fascism before the war and had grown up in the United States. She was bright and kind, and far more mature than he was. She helped him balance his obsession with privatizing world peace in a way that was good for  him. They were married in 1969 and brought a daughter to the world in 1970. Antoinette Edith Stark. Toni.

 

Howard was not as afraid as parenthood as everyone expected him to be. He had Stephanie, Peggy, and Bucky as an example. Despite their roles in S.H.I.E.L.D., they knew how to keep their children safe. If they could do it, Howard knew he could as well. He didn’t have to push his daughter away. When Toni was born, Joseph was finishing his doctorate in Psychology from Columbia and engaged to a woman he had met in graduate school. Michael was getting a degree in chemistry and was planning on going to Harvard medical school. Abraham was a sophomore in college and looked like he was taking a liking to journalism. Sarah and Elizabeth were both still in high school but were equally academic and capable. That wasn’t to say they were ever in danger. One day, walking home from school, someone tried to grab the girls. Sarah broke both of his legs and Elizabeth gave him a gash from brow to lip across his face. To protect their children, they learned how to use what they had, the way their parents did. 

 

So when Toni showed that she was absolutely brilliant at age four when she built her first circuit board, Howard decided it was time to teach her how to protect herself. She was homeschooled by Jarvis, Howard, and Maria, with Stephanie and Peggy cycling in as guest teachers. Toni was her father’s most precious daughter. She was a staple of his lab, she had her own desk in his office, and they worked together for hours in the basement. She entertained guests at dinners and parties and forged ahead in her studies at a stunning rate. The only place she was restricted was her father’s work with S.H.I.E.L.D. and the world security council. But she knew every reason why she wasn’t allowed into that part of her father’s work, and she accepted it. Toni was accepted to M.I.T. when she was fourteen years old. When she graduated a few years later, Howard, Maria, Stephanie, Bucky, Peggy, Joseph, Joseph’s wife, and kids, Michael, Abraham, Sarah, and Elizabeth were all in attendance. She was nearly done with her master’s degree when Howard and Maria had an assassination attempt on their life. Thankfully, Sarah Barnes, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D., was able to prevent the assassination attempt from being successful. Toni, after earning her Ph.D. in engineering, began working in her father’s place at Stark Industries.

 

Stephanie was seventy-seven years old when she retired. Bucky had stepped down a few years prior, and Peggy and Howard retired not long after. They would sit together in the comfortable living room of Howard’s New York mansion and reminisce. They would entertain the Barnes clan grandchildren. They would talk about Toni Stark and her new girlfriend, Pepper. They lived in a world where Obadiah Stane never teamed up with the Ten Rings. Toni Stark never lost her legs. She married Pepper Potts in 2008. They lived in a world designed by Howard, Stephanie, Peggy and Bucky, where Stark Industries had successfully privatized world peace by focusing on the carrot instead of the stick.

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie was lying in a hospital bed. She had done everything she wanted. She watched her kids get married. She met her grandkids and loved them to death. She was married to Bucky Barnes for seventy-five lovely years, and they had Peggy beside them for sixty-seven of those. There wasn’t an alien invasion in New York City, because the Tesseract never had an opportunity to turn itself on when it was locked in a warehouse basement somewhere in upstate New York. Her life was perfect, absolutely perfect, and she wouldn’t have changed a thing.

 

“Mommy,” Joseph said. Her son had gray hair and a wrinkled face, but he still had his father’s steel-blue eyes. “Mommy, wake up.”

 

Stephanie saw the world start to fade around her. But everything was Perfect. She had perfect memories with Peggy and Bucky. She had perfect memories with Howard and Toni. There were trials and tribulations, but everything seemed to sort itself out in the end. She closed her eyes and smiled. There was no way it could have possibly gotten more perfect, and she was ready.

 

* * *

 

“Mommy!” James exclaimed, and he jumped on her chest.

 

“Oh, ow, I’m up, I’m up,” Stephanie said, shaking the sleep from her head. She was barely fazed by the dream because that was probably the tenth time she had that dream. Her fantasy of another, perfect life she would never get to live. She was talking to Sam about it, but that didn’t mean that the dream would go away anytime soon.

 

“I’m hungwy,” James said. She glanced at the alarm, it was a bit past seven. The good thing about putting your son on a very rigorous feeding schedule was that he became your adorable alarm clock, Stephanie decided. “And we hafta go to the market with Sam, and we hafta- we hafta buy fwuit.”

 

“Of course, how could I forget your plums?” Stephanie asked. “Pancakes?”

 

“Pwease, Mommy,” James said.

 

“Wanna fly to the kitchen?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Yes!” James exclaimed happily. Stephanie picked him up by his arms, lifted him over her head, and sprinted down the hall. “Whee!” He shouted. As they reached the living room, she made airplane noises with her mouth as she had him swoop and spin around the living room. He giggled the entire time. Then she threw him across the living room. He landed on the couch cushions, roaring with laughter. He bounced several times and rolled off, giggling the whole way down. Stephanie scooped him up off the floor, kissed him on the cheek, and set him down on his play mat in the living room. He unzipped the plastic case full of building blocks and started to build a tower while Stephanie worked on making breakfast. They met up with Sam and the Grand Army Plaza farmers’ market at about nine in the morning, James was in his stroller and Stephanie used the undercarriage and the many pockets in the sides to store the groceries. As always, James received plenty of attention from the patrons, as they wanted to coo over his precious little face, his bright blue eyes, his dimpled chin, and his broad smile.

 

* * *

 

 

The director of the VA services in D.C. would out for a year on maternity leave, and they needed someone to take her place. Sam was given the opportunity for how well she had done doing administration for the Brooklyn and Queens facilities. Stephanie encouraged her to go, it was good for her career, and she had always liked Washington D.C. She would leave on the eighth, the second Monday of July, to spend two months transitioning before the current director left to have a baby. That meant that the weekend following the fourth of July was the last opportunity Stephanie would have with her friend for quite some time. Of course, Stephanie planned to visit Sam whenever she went down to see Peggy, but that wasn’t the near weekly interaction she was used to.

 

Stephanie’s ninety-fifth and twenty-eighth birthday was kindly hosted by Toni two days after the actual fourth of July, on a Saturday. James was being watched by his Aunt Becca, his cousin Rachel, and their extended family. It wasn’t going to be a huge event, which seemed like a herculean task to Toni, so Stephanie handled actually inviting people. Toni and Pepper were of course invited, it was their house. Sam was the unofficial guest of honor as she was temporarily moving to Washington D.C. for a year. The three other Avengers on Earth: Nat, Claire, and Bertie were all to be in attendance. Stephanie also invited Dr. Foster and her intern Darcy Lewis (Thordis was still gone, over a year after the Battle of New York, and with no word from her, everyone hoped for the best but feared the worst). The final guests were Sharon Carter, who Stephanie was now acquaintanced with through Peggy and a friend of Claire’s named Bobbi who had just broken up with her ex-husband for what seemed to be the eleventh time. Maria Hill was also invited, but kindly told Stephanie she would be busy on the night in question and sent her a card. Stephanie’s party was exactly what she would have wanted: hanging out with her growing group of friends and having harmless fun.

 

“So, we need to figure out the answer to this question,” Toni said. “Who can do the most pirouettes in a row? Battle Ballerina Nat Romanoff, or Swinging Showgirl Stephanie Barnes? The bets have been cast. Nat has their pointe shoes, Stephanie has her show dancing shoes. The scientists Dr. Banner and Dr. Foster will be responsible for counting the points. The rules are as follows: each full rotation is one point. The opposite leg must be raised at least forty-five degrees at all times, and cannot touch the ground. If the leg gets too low, the dancer has to rebalance themselves, or they stop, the counting stops and cannot resume. Are the dancers in an understanding of the rules?” Nat and Steph nodded. “Very well. On your mark, get set, spin!” Toni declared.

 

Both Nat and Steph were impressive at their ability to do pirouettes. Nat had all the gentle grace, elegance and poise of their classical training, and their pirouettes were smooth as they spun on the crux of their toes like the dancer in a well-oiled music box. Steph was much more rigorous in her spins, pushing her leg against the air and her heel against the ground as she launched into five quick turns at once, slowing, and launching into another five. The women in the room gaped in awe. Jane watched Stephanie and Bertie watched Nat, recording the points with mental math. Nat and Steph’s stamina soon became far more impressive than their dancing form, as five minutes later, they were still spinning. Finally, Nat tapped out, and Stephanie followed quickly after. Jane and Bertie pushed their heads together to confer and trade information. They then relayed this information to Toni. The room looked at Toni expectantly.

 

“Stephanie won by  _ two _ points,” Toni said. There were both groans and cheers as money was exchanged across the room.

 

“Good job, Cap,” Nat said.

 

“Same to you, I have super soldier serum,” Steph said. “I wouldn’t have been able to do what I did without it.”

 

“Well, it’s not like I’m _ not _ enhanced,” Nat said. “Russian biotech.”

 

“And that's why America won the Cold War,” Toni said.

 

"But did you really?" Nat asked.

 

Somehow, the group found themselves reading through some of the worst, and therefore best, excerpts from the long list of bad Captain America smut that was all the rage in the eighties and nineties. They were comparing their favorite horrendous pieces of smut.

 

[1 ] “‘And then,’” Pepper read in a dramatic voice. “‘She felt Bucky clench his body in desperate self-control. He moved slowly back and forth for a few minutes, then briefly stopped. “Stephanie,” he breathed, “this is so wonderful, I feel I might disintegrate, I might break into a million fragments-”’” The women roared with laughter. Pepper continued, “‘She pushed against him, reclaimed him, and he began to move more vigorously, then sigh with sad rapture as though he recognized his time was limited.’”

 

“Is he sad because the sex is almost over or is she trying to pathetically foreshadow his famous and tragic death?” Stephanie asked. “I swear, these people are so bad.”

 

[2 ] “‘It’s not as bad as all the mountain analogy in this one,” Nat said, clearing their throat and reciting the excerpt. “‘In the canvas tent, in the cold, mountain air, we grapple with our clothing, which, in the darkness, becomes as complicated as mountaineering gear. Her black coat around her uniform, mine unbuttoned, our trousers and underwear slid to our ankles, we seem to be moving at avalanche speed and also, unfortunately, with avalanche precision-” Nat didn’t finish as the room burst into laughter again.

 

[3] “I’ve only ever read one Captain America smut,” Sharon said. “And there was a line in it that still haunts me to this day.” She sighed, recalling the haunting quote, “‘-it tore a climax out of him with a final lunge. Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin, he screwed himself into her.’” Once again, the group screamed and sobbed.

 

“Nothing’s hotter than lepidoptery,” Claire joked. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you people.”

 

“Is it just me, or were all of these written by men?” Darcy asked. “The bad ones.”

 

[4] “Most of them,” Stephanie agreed with a nod. “But I do know it was a woman who described cunnilingus with the phrase, ‘never will I tire of that silvery fluidity, my sex swimming in joy like a fish in water.’ I just - a  _ fish _ ?”

 

“Hotter than lepidoptery,” Sam quipped. "I'd do a fish before I do a bug." They all laughed again. Stephanie was going to miss her.

 

* * *

 

 

Toni and Pepper came over for dinner, arguing about the wedding they hadn’t even started to officially plan, but bickering about flower arrangements was their way of flirting. Usually, because they managed to turn the talk of flowers into something along the lines of “any flower arrangement will seem hideous compared to you” or “it doesn’t matter what dress you wear for you will always look like a goddess.” They were sickeningly romantic, and Stephanie was happy to see them so relaxed and in love. Stephanie helped Pepper cook while Toni played with James in the living room, helping him build with his blocks and enjoying answering his questions. He had a habit of asking a lot of questions these days. “What’s this” and “Why’s that” seemed to be staples of his vocabulary at the moment, and Toni had the patience to explain everything when the person asking was a toddler.

 

The four of them sat around the table, eating. “I think, I want to actually, hesitantly, say next June for the wedding,” Toni said. “Are you alright with that, Pepper?” 

 

“Yeah,” Pepper said, smiling, “I’d marry you tomorrow if you wanted to. Why the sudden change of heart?”

 

“I just… I’m feeling good,” Toni shrugged. “And I’ve figured out what the colors should be.”

 

“Really?” Pepper asked. “You figured it out?”

 

“Here,” Toni pulled her phone out of her pocket and flipped through her gallery. “May 1, 2010.” She slid the phone across the table. “Our first date.”

 

“You’ve never shown me this before,” Pepper said quietly.

 

“Well, the reason I’m showing it to you now is that I want this to be our color palette,” Toni said. “Cap will agree with me.”

 

“Show me the picture and I might,” Stephanie said, smiling. Toni showed her the screen. Pepper was silhouetted against a pink and orange sunset, the skyline of Los Angeles on the horizon. “It’s beautiful,” she agreed.

 

“I was thinking,” Toni said. “That I have JARVIS make a CSS file off the image down and reduce it to a twelve-color palette which we can algorithmically determine-”

 

“Blah, blah, blah,” Pepper said. “Smart computer things. I love that idea.” The couple gazed at each other as if the other one was the greatest thing they had ever seen. Stephanie averted her eyes from the intimate moment.

 

Maybe it wasn’t perfect, but Stephanie didn’t mind the life and the people that she had.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) Charlotte Grey by Sebastian Faulks  
> (2) The Destroyers by Christopher Bollen  
> (3) The Shape of Her by Rowan Summerville  
> (4) Infrared by Nancy Houston


	5. Dates

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen,” Toni Stark said. “When I look back, I can’t say that I had fond memories of high school. Maybe it was because I was four years younger than the rest. But what I knew was important was what a good education provided for me. It inspired me to pursue science, and it gave me the ability to be prepared for school at M.I.T. I was lucky, however. The education I received was expensive, and I had a family with the resources to pay for it. The fact that our abilities and opportunities are limited by our finances is one of the more regrettable things about modern society. But hopefully, we’re taking strides. Stark Industries has donated fifty million dollars to the Midtown School of Science and Society to expand its facilities and increase admissions. What is amazing about MSST is that it accepts students from all over the New York Public School System, accepting them upon passage of an aptitude test. The opportunities of the students are not limited to where they live, or how much money they have.” Toni said. “With these expanded facilities, there can now be five hundred new brilliant minds accepted to this school annually. And Stark Industries will continue to be a benefactor to STEM and magnet schools across the country through the Stark Education Foundation. Thank you!” Toni waved at the crowd. As she stepped offstage and to the side. Her phone rang. She picked it up.

 

“Good job,” Pepper said over the other end.

 

“Why, thank you, Miss Potts,” Toni said, grinning flirtatiously and winking at the cameras. “You watching me?”

 

“Yes,” Pepper said, the amusement in her voice was palpable. “You know when you look at the cameras like that, you’re looking at the other few thousand people watching you on TV _and_ me.”

 

“No, I’m looking at you,” Toni said. “The rest of them are pretty irrelevant, actually.”

 

“Oh, I’m flattered.” Pepper was laughing on the other end. “Are we still on for lunch?”

 

“Yep,” Toni said. “I shouldn’t be late. It’s a short drive. Ten minutes, in the worst traffic.”

 

“Not even a mile,” Pepper sighed with dissatisfaction. “Sometimes I miss when you flew everywhere.”

 

“Because I answered your booty calls quicker?” Toni asked.

 

“There are children where you are,” Pepper gasped in horror. Then she giggled. Toni laughed too.

 

“Love you, see you in a bit,” Toni said.

 

“Love you too,” Pepper said. The line went dead. Toni slipped the phone back in her pocket and headed out. The short drive was interrupted periodically by the steady flux on New York traffic. Toni pulled off into the underground parking garage and headed up the private elevator to the executive office floor. When she passed Pepper’s secretary and entered the sprawling office, she stopped to see Pepper and Stephanie folded over on Pepper’s desk, choking and crying on their own laughter.

 

“I miss something funny?” Toni asked.

 

“Oh, hi,” Pepper said. “Sorry, Steph was asking about why I was out sick, and we got to talking about how human experimentation really screws up a woman’s menstrual cycle.”

 

“Wait, you have it too?” Toni asked Stephanie. Ever since the Extremis, Pepper’s body seemed to try to make her menstruate as efficiently as possible. They knew it was coming because  Pepper would run a fever, and for the next six hours, her body would put her through contractions to get rid of the unwanted tissue as quickly as possible. What ended up was her sitting on a toilet all day as she forced out a bloody, smoldering mass of congealed tissue. Just girly things.

 

“Not like hers,” Steph said. “My serum means that my lining holds up longer, so I only have discharge every now and again as it, I guess, cleans itself. But when I do need to get rid of it, it’s long, it’s heavy, and it usually ends up smelling like rotting meat.”

 

“Ew,” Toni said. “And you were laughing about that?”

 

“She had a story about how she used it during an ambush,” Pepper said. “In retrospect, it’s disgusting and now something to talk about right before going out to lunch.”

 

“Oh, we’re getting lunch?” Steph asked. Pepper and Toni shared an awkward glance.

 

“Well, Pepper and I were getting lunch,” Toni said. “Together. Like, a date.”

 

“Oh,” Stephanie said, looking embarrassed. She masked it with a Captain America smile, “Sorry for the confusion. Have fun! I should probably get back to work anyway to help work on the logistics of our Sokovian relief fund, I’ll shoot you guys a memo.” She stood up and left Pepper’s office very quickly. Toni waited as Pepper grabbed her things, and they took the car a few blocks over to have lunch.

 

* * *

 

 

That wasn’t the first nor the last time that Stephanie was weird. It was never intentional, it always seemed like she just forgot sometimes that Toni and Pepper wouldn’t invite her places. It wasn’t, to them, like she was trying to insert herself into their relationship or she felt entitled to their time. They were all friends, she was just the third wheel, and apparently embarrassed whenever she realized it.

 

“Do you want to do something about Steph?” Pepper asked one night.

 

“Is this your definition of pillow talk?” Toni asked.

 

Pepper rolled her eyes, “She’s… I’m concerned about her. She’s a workaholic.”

 

“And us, kettles, are supposed to talk to the pot about that?” Toni asked.

 

“Yes, but she has no reprieve like we do,” Pepper said. “You know, we all spend some time together as friends. And I know she hangs out sometimes with her sister, Peggy, and Sam when  she’s in D.C. But most days she goes home, and she’s supposed to be a mother to James. You know, we go home. We watch television together, exchange neck and foot rubs-”

 

“-Have really amazing sex,” Toni added.

 

“Phenomenal sex,” Pepper agreed. She sighed. “I just, I feel bad. She just takes care of her son, does more work, and sketches.”

 

“Yeah, well, it works for her,” Toni said. “Did Stephanie tell you she’s lonely?”

 

“Well, no,” Pepper said. “But just because she didn’t say she’s lonely doesn’t mean she isn’t.”

 

“You think her awkward third-wheeling is a cry for help?” Toni asked.

 

“No, but I do think it wouldn’t hurt her to have some fun,” Pepper said. “Fun with someone.”

 

“And you volunteer yourself to be the one who makes sure she has fun?” Toni asked. “Why not, just, like, get her to go on vacation?”

“Nat agrees with me that she needs to date,” Pepper said.

 

“You know what I think?” Toni asked. “I think you’re happy. Not Happy as in our friend Happy, but happy as in the emotion.”

 

“Sorry?” Pepper asked. “What does that have to do with anything?”

 

“Well, are you happy?” Toni asked.

 

“I’m very happy,” Pepper said. “Of course I’m happy.” She stoked Toni’s face, wordlessly saying,  _ you’re why I’m happy _ .

 

“Well, here’s what I think,” Toni said. “I think that you’re happy. And you see that Stephanie isn’t as happy as you are, and it makes you feel bad. And you want to help fix things and make her happy in the same way you’re happy.”

 

“Ugh,” Pepper sighed, rolling onto her back. “Glad to see your therapy is working. It’s so weird, though.”

 

“What, that I’m now rational and well-adjusted?”

 

“Well, I still think I should help Stephanie,” Pepper said.

 

“You can do that,” Toni said. “But her happy might not be your happy. So, just, prepare for that.”

 

* * *

 

 

On September fourteenth, the ballroom on the seventh floor of Stark Tower was decked out in decorations for a charitable benefit, one of many that Toni threw. The money would go to the Maria Stark Foundation, which was responsible for civilian relief and improvement in the face and aftermath of natural disasters and armed conflicts, the immediate attention at the moment going to the Rim Fire in California and the civil war in Syria. The tickets to the benefit by the foundation cost 50,000 USD, and invitations were given sparingly. There would be a silent art auction taking place as well as an opportunity to talk, drink, and dance with some of the wealthiest people on the planet, listen to the New York Philharmonic and be in the same room as Toni Stark. Pepper insisted that Stephanie attend the event as well, with an invitation, of course (Even though she could probably afford the tickets with what Toni was paying her). She had even bought Stephanie a gown, nothing too expensive, Stephanie had begged. You could give the girl who grew up during the Great Depression more money than she would ever need, and she would still find a way to be frugal. It was a black-tie event, with a heavy emphasis on the word black. Most of the guests were wearing mostly or all black ensembles. Even the hosts, Toni and Pepper, were wearing black. Toni wore a body-hugging Stella McCartney with a high neck, a mesh back, and mesh cap sleeves. Pepper had a Halston Heritage silk and faille tulip dress with thick straps and a scoop neck.

 

“What are you planning?” Toni asked as Pepper rifled through the pile of lipsticks in their closet vanity to finally pull out the proper shade of mauve, decide against it, and pull out a coral instead.

 

“You will see,” Pepper said. She ran the color over her lips. “We need to stop by Stephanie’s guest floor, she used it to get ready for the night.”

 

Toni and Pepper took the private elevator down to Stephanie’s floor. When the doors opened, Stephanie was waiting on the other side.

 

“Wow,” Toni said. She realized then and there this was the first time she had seen Stephanie in something other than casual, business, or apocalypse attire. And she actually looked like she was twenty-eight. “You don’t look as frumpy as I expected.”

 

“Thank your fiancee,” Stephanie said, tucking her clutch under her arm. “The last time I wore a dress like this was in 1943. Actually, I’ve never worn a dress like this,” She looked down at her cleavage. There was a lot of it. “Future, right? Did you guys decide to both wear black together?”

 

“Something like that,” Toni said, glaring at Pepper. First of all, Stephanie was wearing a crimson dress, even though the guests would be dressed in black with maybe some monochrome white and grey thrown in. Second of all, Pepper managed to get Stephanie to wear the kind of dress that clung to her hips and had a deep v-neck with the apex below the end of her sternum. The little fabric that she had across her chest was pulled taut by her curves. And her arms were bared entirely beyond the straps of her dress, smooth skin over muscles rippling delicately with her every move.

 

“My eyes are up here,” Stephanie said. Both Toni and Pepper snapped their faces forward.  Stephanie laughed. “No, I’m fine. Glad to know I’ll be interesting enough to bid on.”

 

“Bid on?” Toni asked.

 

“Yes, remember, Toni?” Pepper said. “That Stephanie kindly volunteered to take part in the silent auction? They’ll be bidding on an evening with her?”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought that just meant her artwork,” Toni said. “I didn’t know we were prostituting Cap.”

 

“It’s not prostitution,” Stephanie said. “Besides, if Pepper’s right and she is, we could potentially make millions of dollars tonight for the relief fund. It’s worth it.”

 

“I thought you were sick of being a showgirl,” Toni said.

 

“Well, I’m not dancing for anybody else’s propaganda,” Stephanie said. “I’m the director of philanthropy, and on the board of all your charitable foundations, I will help distribute the money we make tonight.”

 

The doors opened, and she marched forward with determination. Toni and Pepper trailed behind her, whispering together.

 

“This was your plan to get her a date?” Toni asked.

 

“It’s a multifaceted plan,” Pepper said. “Tonight is just going to reintroduce her to the idea. Remind her what it’s like to be with attractive people her own age who she could possibly like. And also make millions of dollars for charity. It’s a good plan.”

 

“I think you’ve turned into the scheming aunt in Jane Austen novel,” Toni said.

 

“Sounds like me,” Pepper said.

 

“I’m so glad I’m marrying you,” Toni said.

 

When the couple and Stephanie entered the party, it was a whirlwind. People were thanking them for an invitation, or complimenting them on their party, talking about the art and the food. The typical things. What was less than typical was the way the room paused and turned when Stephanie entered, her golden hair in gentle waves down her back, her body accentuated by the red dress.

 

“Are you really auctioning off Captain America?” was a question that Toni and Pepper received about a dozen times.

 

“So, are we gonna push anyone in her direction?” Toni asked quietly as she sipped Sanpelligrino from a champagne flute.

 

“I have three people I think could work,” Pepper said. “Walk with me,” The two women meandered around the edge of the crowd. “That’s the first one. Jeffrey Jones. Grandson of Hugh Jones of Roxxon.”

 

“Yeah, I think Daddy slept with his grandmother,” Toni said.

 

“Howard was a whore,” Pepper said dismissively. Toni laughed “Anyway, he comes from big money. The second brother, so he’s not going to inherit Roxxon Energy, he’s actually a playwright. A few Broadway shows, cushy family money. I thought he’d appeal to her artistic side.”

 

“Second one?” Toni asked.

 

“The woman over there with the silver sleeve,” Pepper said. “Bernie Rosenthal. She’s a lawyer. A defense attorney for high-profile cases, but she has a firm moral code.”

 

“She’s pretty,” Toni said.

 

“Her main hobby is glassblowing, and she lives in Greenwich Village, and she’s widowed with a daughter,” Pepper said. “Also, I may have made out with her in college.”

 

“And yet, you slut-shame my deceased father!” Toni teased. Pepper rolled her eyes.

 

“And the third?”

 

“Cornelius Ferrari,” Pepper said. “Of the famous Ferrari car. He’s a lawyer too, works for the family company. He’s a huge contributor to UNICEF, anonymous donations mostly, but I looked up his financial records.”

 

“You mean you hacked into them.”

 

“I mean JARVIS hacked into them,” Pepper said. Toni looked at her with disappointment. “I wanted to make sure I wasn’t setting her up with a criminal. My personal favorite is Rosenthal.”

 

“Because we’re gay,” Toni said.

 

“Exactly,” Pepper said. “But I needed contingencies, and it’s still hard to find girls who aren’t closeted in our circles, so we have three options.”

 

“And the auction is an hour and thirty-two minutes,” Toni said.

 

“Exactly,” Pepper said. “So, plans?”

 

“Let’s give her some time to do her own thing,” Toni said. “When we’re down to an hour we can start playing matchmaker.”

 

“I thought you didn’t approve of my schemes,” Pepper said.

 

“You were gonna scheme anyway, might as well get in on the fun,” Toni said.

 

They subtly watched Stephanie for those thirty-two minutes. She had a few people talk to her, mostly about the few paintings of hers that were thrown into the auction mix. They mostly just asked her when she did them, what they were about. Surprisingly, Ferrari went over to Stephanie where she stood off to the side near her work on display. Noticing this, Pepper and Toni crept closer.

 

“You did this?” Ferrari asked, pointing at a painting.

 

“I did all five of these,” Stephanie said.

 

“But this one is different,” Ferrari said. And he was right. The other four paintings were all detailed landscapes or street scenes. The New York City skyline, slowly transitioning from 1943 on one end to 2013 on the other; a dark forest with shadowed bodies peeking through the trees; the cobbled streets of London with warm light flooding out of the pubs; and Prospect Park with families picnicking, couples strolling, and children playing. The painting Ferrari pointed at was completely different, and far more abstract. Shades of white and blue in a swirling snowy scene, a jagged white crack down the middle of the painting, and one dark dot in the center of the crack. “What inspired it?”

 

“Grief,” Stephanie said delicately. “How it feels to lose something important.”

 

“It’s stunning,” Ferrari said. “It’s simple, yet emotional.”

 

“Thank you,” Stephanie said. “Honestly, I was just bored, and mixing shades of white and blue and… well, then I remembered something.” And that was when she added the jagged streak of  white and the black dot.

 

“I’m Cornelius Ferrari, by the way,” he said, offering his hand.

 

“Stephanie Barnes,” Stephanie accepted it. “Although I’m sure you knew that.”

 

“So, you’re alright, giving all of these away?” Ferrari asked.

 

“Oh, yes,” Stephanie said. “Painting was never my forte anyway, I’ve always been better at illustrations, but those are harder to hang up and sell.”

 

“Even the emotion?” Ferrari asked. “I mean, these are all clearly full of emotion. Memories you put on a canvass. You don’t mind giving them to someone else.

 

Stephanie shrugged, “Maybe it’s cathartic.” If he were smooth, he would follow the line of giving memories and emotion. The emotional vulnerability he was circling.

 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re beautiful?” Ferrari asked. It wasn’t the smartest move, but it was a move. Toni and Pepper held their breath. This was a make-or-break moment. If Stephanie was creeped out, or Ferrari fell flat, this was over.

 

“I’ve heard that once or twice, I guess,” Stephanie said. He had fallen flat, Stephanie was no longer interested. Her smile said so, it was the Captain America smile.

 

“Good, I’m not the only one,” He said, laughing. Stephanie continued her strained smile. “Do you want a drink?”

 

“Not really,” she said. “Thank you, though.”

 

He offered an awkward smile, “It was nice to speak to you, Stephanie.”

 

“Likewise, Cornelius,” She said.

 

“Alright,” Toni said. “So, I mean, could have been worse.”

 

“He got superficial way too fast,” Pepper said. “Are you getting ready to throw anyone at her?”

 

“I think maybe Jeremy.”

 

“Jeffrey.”

 

“The playwright with Roxxon money,” Toni agreed.

 

“Let’s go ask him if he wants to talk to Captain America,” Pepper said.

 

As they spoke to Jeffrey, they realized that he was a bit insufferable. It started out that he was clearly passionate about his work as a playwright, which could be endearing to some people. Toni found it annoying, but that was just her. And then he started to do those things that men do when they think that their topic of the conversation is superior and they will continue to redirect you to their conversation even if it has been entirely over-explicated. By the time they finally escaped from him explaining how much he was inspired by Quentin Tarantino (ew), they realized that they had lost sight of Stephanie.

 

“Maybe she’s peeing,” Pepper said as she nervously looked around the room. The auction would start in fifteen minutes. “She didn’t leave. She wouldn’t have left. Did she leave?”

 

“Wait - she’s over by the bar,” Toni said. “Huh, I guess she finally decided she wanted a drink.”

 

“Oh my god, that’s Bernie Rosenthal,” Pepper said. “They’re sitting together!” She hit Toni in the arm several times with her outward enthusiasm. “They’re drinking wine together and  talking!”

 

“Calm down, Pepper, you’re glowing,” Toni said.

 

“Sorry,” Pepper said, taking calming breaths before anybody realized that she was gleaming a peachy gold. “I’ve just realized this is probably one of the most lesbian things I’ve done. Setting my friend with my sorta-ex.”

 

“Really? This is the most lesbian thing you’ve ever done?” Toni asked.

 

“-Well, it’s one of them-” Pepper said.

 

“-Because I was going to say-”

 

“-obviously my relationship with you is very-”

 

“-getting engaged to a woman is pretty gay-”

 

“-and all the sex-”

 

“-it’s all really gay-”

 

“-very gay,” Pepper finished with a nod. They looked back over at Stephanie and Bernie. “What do you think they’re talking about? Ugh, I wish Claire was here. It’s so useful when she can read lips.”

 

“Well, I can try,” Toni said, staring intently at Stephanie. “Okay, either she said ‘we got a conversation in Bethlehem,’ or ‘a weed goat conga dates the best alien.’”

 

“You can’t read lips,” Pepper said.

 

“Maybe she’s talking about Jane and Thordis?” Toni suggested.

 

“Are you saying Dr. Foster is ‘a weed goat conga?’” Pepper asked.

 

“Okay, maybe I can’t read lips,” Toni said.

 

“I still love you,” Pepper said. “Well, their body language is open. Stephanie’s actually smiling, not Captain America smiling. So, she’s not just humoring Bernie or trying to be polite. It looks like they’re having a nice conversation.”

 

Stephanie said something with quirked lips and Bernie threw her head backward in laughter. 

 

“Now I really wanna eavesdrop,” Pepper said. “Because that’s the first time I’ve ever seen Bernie actually laugh. She was always one of those sardonic, tongue-in-cheek, only-capable-of-a- wry chuckle girls.” She sighed. “But we shouldn’t, I don’t want to distract Stephanie.”

 

“Why don’t,” Toni said, offering Pepper her hand, “We dance?”

 

“We dance?” Pepper said amused, accepting Toni’s hand.

 

“They managed to start talking without us, it’s probably best we let them keep talking,” Toni said. “And any chance to hold you is one I think I’d like to take, Miss Potts.” The pair fit into an embrace and swayed together.

 

“Well, Miss Stark, I’m flattered,” Pepper said.

 

Toni leaned close and whispered in Pepper’s ear, “And you remembered to wear deodorant this time.”

 

Pepper whispered back, “I will make you cry.”

 

Toni laughed.

 

The auction began with the art. The window had closed, and the final bids were on the auction sheets beside each painting. Stephanie was the one who listed who won each piece and how much money they had committed to the auction. She went through the thirty paintings, hers being the final five that were given away. It seemed that Ferrari had spent twenty million dollars on her blue and white piece, far more than any of the other paintings that were auctioned off that night.

 

“And now, for the last stage of tonight’s auction,” Stephanie said with the Captain America smile. “For the Maria Stark Foundation fundraiser, we will be auctioning off an artist. I will spend one day with whoever committed the most money on this bid,” She lifted up a clipboard of auction sheets. “Let’s see,” She said, flipping through the sheets. The reality of it was that there was a comically long roster of people who had bid on a day with Captain America. And the money was growing. “Congratulations to Mr. Charles Medford Frizini for committing four hundred and seventy-three million dollars to the Maria Stark Foundation.”

 

“Frizini?” Toni asked. “What? The architect tycoon? Isn’t he, like, fifty?”

 

Pepper sighed, “I knew it was a risk that someone wealthier would outbid. Well, on the bright side, nearly half a billion dollars to disaster relief.”

 

“Still, he’s like, a confirmed widower,” Toni said. “He doesn’t date. He lives in his cushy penthouse with his teenage daughter and makes buildings.”

 

“Well, maybe his daughter is a Captain America fan,” Pepper said.

 

* * *

 

Upon Frizini’s request, Stephanie appeared at his New York penthouse at eight the following morning, wearing a comfortable white button-up blouse and blue wash jeans beneath a brown leather biker jacket. She greeted the doorman and was given permission to take Frizini’s private elevator to the penthouse. Not only did he live at the top of this building, but he had also designed it.

 

“Captain Barnes,” he greeted her kindly, wearing a fur-trimmed robe over loungewear. “Please, come it,” He had breakfast ready on a table by the window.

 

“Mr. Frizini,” she said, sitting down.

 

“Captain, I regret that I purchased your day on a false pretense,” Frizini said. “I did not donate that money to Toni Stark because I wanted to spend a day with you. I gave it because I need  your help, and this was the only way I could think of getting access.

 

“What do you mean?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Eat, please,” he said, but Stephanie was starting to get paranoid. He stood up and paced around, picking an image off the wall. It was a family photograph. He was beside a handsome woman, between them was a little girl. “I lost my wife seven years ago.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Stephanie said.

 

“Pasha was twelve when she lost her mother. And it was hard. It was hard to both be a father and grieve my wife. I hope it’s a plight you, particularly, have sympathy for,” Frizini said. “Two  months ago, Pasha and some of her friends went to Las Vegas for a summer vacation. Her friends returned, and she hasn’t.”

 

“Is she missing?” Stephanie asked.

 

“The police say she isn’t,” Frizini said. “They say that they have made contact with her. I’ve made contact with her. And I can’t force them to bring her home because she is nineteen now, and a legal adult. They say that she said she decided to just stay in Las Vegas a little while longer. But, Captain, I know my daughter. I know that she would not just decide not to come home. I worry that something has happened to her.”

 

“If you’ve made contact with her, then why do you worry something has happened?” Stephanie asked.

 

“She never texts, only calls from her hotel lobby. And the calls are always five minutes or less. She hasn’t made a single charge to any of her cards in over six weeks, and she changes her hotel weekly.”

 

“And why me? Why not hire a private investigator?” Stephanie asked.

 

“She’s a fan, I think she would talk to you,” Frizini said. “And, if she is in danger, I trust you to save her life.”

 

“Mr. Frizini,” Stephanie said. “I can make some calls. I know people in the intelligence community who would be more than capable of finding out what happened to Pasha.”

 

“No, I paid for you,” Frizini said.

 

“And I appreciate it, but I am not a gun for hire,” Stephanie said. “I am retired from being Captain America. I work in charity administration now for a reason.”

 

“What if I make it an even billion?” Frizini asked. “A billion dollars to the Maria Stark Foundation. Imagine how much medical aid you could get to the babies they gassed in Syria. Please, Captain, all I want is for you to find my daughter and make sure she’s alright.”

 

Stephanie chewed on her lower lip. She didn’t really want to go to Las Vegas, but she did want a billion dollars. 

 

“I’ll do it,” Stephanie said.

 

“Good,” Frizini said. “My private jet is waiting for you at La Guardia. I have provided you with more than enough supplies. I ask that you maintain a certain level of secrecy, here. I don’t want public instability.”

 

“Of course, can’t ruin the billionaire’s public image,” Stephanie said, standing up. “I’ll make sure your daughter is safe, but I’m not bringing her home if she doesn’t want to.”

 

“I will respect that,” Frizini said.

 

“Good,” Stephanie said.

 

* * *

 

 

“What do you mean you’re going to Las Vegas?” Toni asked over the phone.

 

“Frizini decided he wanted to spend my day with him searching for his missing daughter in Las Vegas,” Stephanie said.

 

“But why you? Why not law enforcement, or a private investigator?” Toni asked.

 

“Well, law enforcement won’t do anything because she’s technically not missing, just avoiding her father and changing hotels all the time,” Stephanie said. “And he believes I’d be better at helping her than any private investigator because she’s a fan.”

 

“Do you need any help?” Toni asked.

 

“Yeah. If it goes longer than today, I need someone to watch James when Rachel and her kids go back to work. And also, I guess, an excused absence from my job?”

 

“You’ve brought in a billion dollars through Frizini alone, as far as we’re concerned, anything you do in Vegas is still on the clock,” Toni said. “Pep and I will be glad to watch James while you’re out of town.”

 

“Thank you,” Stephanie said.

 

“Please call me if you need any help,” Toni said. “These things get weird, fast.”

 

“Oh, I know,” Stephanie laughed. “I will - don’t worry.” She hung up the phone and pulled out her Stark Laptop, logging into the administration server (only available to her, Toni, and Pepper) and accessing JARVIS.

 

“You require my assistance, Captain?” JARVIS asked.

 

“Yeah, I need your algorithms,” Stephanie said. “I have some data analysis that’ll take ages if I had to do it myself. This is a record of every hotel lobby phone that Frizini ever received contact from. If I’m right, Pasha is an amateur. She’s calling from lobby phones of places she isn’t staying to draw attention away from where she actually is. Can you cross-reference all the calls with hotels in the area and eliminate the ones she’s been to?”

 

“Easily, Captain,” JARVIS said.

 

“And also make sure that it’s a five star, well-reviewed place. She’s the daughter of a billionaire, I doubt she can stay at a Motel 6,” Stephanie added.

 

“You may be onto something, ma’am,” JARVIS said. “There are only two five-stars, well-reviewed hotels in Las Vegas that have not been the outgoing for a call from Pasha Frizini. The first is the ARIA Sky Suites, owned by Nicoli Spano, the second is the Wynn and Encore, property of Jimmy Sanders.”

 

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Stephanie said. “Now, Pasha and her friends stayed at the Bellagio before started acting weird, and that’s where Frizini has set up a suite for me. I also have the recorded testimonies of all her friends for what happened during their trip. Do you think you can compile all of them into a timeline?”

 

“Yes, I can,” JARVIS said, “A few minutes, ma’am.” Stephanie waited. “I took the liberty, ma’am, of accessing CCTV cameras from all reported locations in the testimonies to cross-reference and verify.”

 

“And?”

 

“I have found a discrepancy,” JARVIS said. “All of the girls reported staying in for the night on the second to last day, but footage of the hallway shows Miss Frizini exiting the hotel room in formalwear at midnight and not returning until six in the morning.” The footage appeared on Stephanie’s screen. Pasha, indeed, seemed to quietly close the door of the hallway and creep out to the elevator. “Tracking her biometrics.” Stephanie watched intently as she went into an elevator, rode down to the lobby, and stepped out. A man was sitting in the chair, his back to the camera. He stood up and embraced her with a deep kiss. Then, they headed out of the Bellagio lobby.

 

“JARVIS, can you get an angle to run facial recognition on him?” Stephanie asked.

 

“No, ma’am, his face is turned away from every camera,” JARVIS said, demonstrating by flipping through the cameras as the pair took a weird route out of the lobby, the man continually  turning his face from the nearest camera.

 

“He knew where they were,” Stephanie said. That was weird. “Track Pasha. I want to see what they get up to.” Stephanie watched as they got in a limo which had a license plate JARVIS tracked, and then went to the Encore. One of the hotels on Stephanie’s radar. They went to the XS nightclub in the Wynn. Stephanie recognized that the nightclub had an age limit of twenty-one, and yet Pasha was nineteen. Meaning that somehow, she or that man had managed to get her into the club illegally. After partying for four hours, they went up to a suite with the man, stayed there for an hour, and a very rumpled Pasha went back out and took a taxi back to the Bellagio in time to arrive back in her room with her girlfriends just after six.

 

“So, she’s seeing someone,” Stephanie said. “Maybe that’s why she stayed. But then why all this subterfuge and nosing around? Is her father that controlling?”

 

“I would not be able to make assumptions as such, Captain,” JARVIS said.

 

“You’ve already hacked the servers, can you see who was renting that suite?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Nicoli Spano, ma’am,” JARVIS said.

 

“The guy who owns the other hotel,” Stephanie said.

 

“Precisely.”

 

“JARVIS, how do you have access to the Las Vegas security systems?” Stephanie asked.

“During Miss Stark’s more promiscuous phase, Las Vegas was a location she spent quite a lot of time in and made quite a lot of mistakes in. To reduce the likelihood of blackmail, Stark Industries graciously set up the entire security system in Las Vegas for all the hotels, resorts, and casinos.” JARVIS said.

 

“Sounds like  Toni, overdoing a contingency,” Stephanie said. “Glad it came in handy. So, you can figure out where Pasha is?”

 

“I’m cross-referencing her facial recognition against all footage in the last week,” JARVIS said. “She’s staying with a man named Anthony Sanquino at the ARIA.”

 

“Those two hotels and those two men seem to be linked,” Stephanie said. “And she’s between them, somehow. Maybe that could explain all this. Where is she now?”

 

“I believe the ARIA suite, I will alert your phone if she moves,” JARVIS said.

 

“Captain Barnes,” The pilot said over the intercom system, “We’ll be landing in thirty minutes.”

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie settled in the far too large suite at the Bellagio, cracked open her laptop again, and logged back into access JARVIS and the files he provided on Spano, Sanders, and Sanquino. Sanders was in his sixties, a real estate mogul with multiple assets across well-known major capitals of partying, gambling, and general debauchery. Spano was only on financial assets, a businessman who cropped up ten years ago with massive financial holdings, starting a slow takeover of Las Vegas. The ARIA was his first major acquisition. Sanquino, meanwhile, was evidently a petty criminal who vanished off the grid ten years ago. Stephanie quickly linked Sanquino and Spano as the same man, even the names weren’t that different, and Sanquino wasn’t paying for his stay at the ARIA which he would only manage if he owned it. It did make Stephanie uncomfortable to know the man that Pasha was staying with was nearly fifteen years her senior, especially when all evidence linked their relationship sexually.

 

Stephanie’s phone buzzed with an alert. And then another. Pasha was leaving the suite, accompanied Sanquino. Sanders, meanwhile, was just checked into a hospital with severe injuries from a car accident. That set off all sorts of alarms in her head.

 

“Wait,” Stephanie said. “The people who Sanquino, Spano, took acquisitions from. Can you see their hospital records, a correlation with when they gave the property to Spano and when they became ill or injured?”

 

“I’ve found two other cases of an injury recently preceding an acquisition,” JARVIS said.

 

“Thank you,” Stephanie said. She slammed the laptop closed. She texted JARVIS,  _ Keep me updated where Pasha is heading _ . She reached the lobby and got into a taxi.

 

“Where are you headed?” the driver asked.

 

“Just a minute,” Stephanie said. She texted,  _ Address _ ? She got a reply. “3186 South Maryland Parkway.”

 

“Sunrise Hospital?” the driver asked.

 

“I guess so,” Stephanie said. She checked her phone. JARVIS sent her a room number.

 

Once she arrived at the hospital, getting around was surprisingly easy. She found the hall of the room, and she stopped, seeing Pasha and Sanquino walking down, hand in hand, with bodyguards trailing them. She slipped back behind a wall and used the corner mirrors to look at what was happening. The hospital mirrors used to make sure someone wasn’t run over with a gurney were also very useful for espionage. Pasha and Sanquino slipped into the room JARVIS had texted Stephanie. The guards stood to watch outside. They were in there for five minutes, and then they left. Once Stephanie was sure the coast was clear, she went down the hall and into the room. She recognized the face of Jimmy Sanders from the files.

 

“What do you want?” He rasped. He was in a sorry state. Black eye, split lip, broken arm.

 

“Did you just give that man your hotel?” Stephanie asked.

 

“How did you-”

 

“Yes or no, Mr. Sanders.”

 

“I - I did.”

 

“He was threatening you for a while, wasn’t he?” Stephanie asked.

 

“He was,” Sanders admitted. “But I didn’t just sign over one hotel. I signed over all of them. Who - who are you?”

 

“The woman, Pasha, do you know why he has her?”

 

“Do I know why he - well, I think they’re married.”

 

“Married?” Stephanie asked. She figured it out. “Thank you.” She hurried off.

 

_ Now? Where are they? _ Stephanie texted JARVIS.

 

_ XS Nightclub _ JARVIS texted back.

 

* * *

 

 

The nightclub tickets were ridiculously expensive. The music was booming, the lights were flashing, and there were too many people. Stephanie did not care that she was wearing too much for a nightclub, evidently. She made her way over to one of the VIP cabanas where Pasha was lounging with Sanquino.

 

“You know, I’m pretty sure that the legal drinking age is twenty-one,” She said as she approached the cabana. The bodyguards stepped between her and the couple. “I’m not armed.” She let them pat her down. They took out her phone and tossed it to Sanquino.

 

“It’s a virgin cocktail,” Sanquino lied.

 

“Am I drunk or is that Captain America?” Pasha asked with a giggle.

 

“Yeah, one of those virgin cocktails with booze in them,” Stephanie said. “Hi, Pasha, you don’t know me. Your father sent me, he’s worried about you. I thought he was paranoid. Guess I was wrong.”

 

“Dad sent you?” Pasha sighed, throwing her head back in teenage ennui. “Ugh. Why couldn’t he just give me  _ space _ .”

 

“Because you’re a disillusioned nineteen-year-old,” Stephanie said. “And he’s your father, and he cares about you. Now, you probably didn’t notice, but I was at Sunshine Hospital when you were. I had a little chat with Jimmy Sanders. Is this the third time you’ve physically injured someone, so they hand over their business enterprises? Or are there some instances I missed?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Oh, you missed several,” Sanquino said. “Hey, Croll, clean out the VIP box,” he said to one of the guards. The bodyguards went from cabana to cabana, clearing out the VIP section of the nightclub that observed the dance floor. The guests were not happy, but guns made them speed up. “So, Pasha’s Daddy sent you? How much did you cost?”

 

“You mean how much are you gonna outbid me to not tell him about his daughter?” Stephanie asked. “Well, he’s donating a billion dollars to charity for me to come to check in on Pasha here. Of course, there’s nothing  _ you _ could pay that would make me shut up. Quick question, did you mean to seduce the heiress of Frizini’s enterprises, or was it a happy accident? Because either way, it’s a bit despicable that you married a kid.”

 

“I’m not a kid!” Pasha exclaimed.

 

“You turned nineteen four months ago,” Stephanie said.

 

“Still, I can legally get married!”

 

“Sure, but have you ever wanted to ask yourself why a man who’s been an adult for seventeen years wants to be with a woman who’s been an adult for one?” Stephanie asked.

 

“I’m mature for my age,” Pasha said.

 

“They always say that,” Stephanie said. “And they make you feel special and smart and grown. Don’t they? And you, who’s been a recluse of society from a sheltered, overbearing father, you fall straight for the honey pot. Another question, Mr. Sanquino, when were you planning to kill Frizini?”

 

“How dare you! He never would have-”

 

“A couple months after the Sanders deal went solid,” Sanquino said. Pasha looked at him with disgust and horror. “Sorry, baby,” he said to Pasha. He turned to Stephanie “Now, are you gonna come quietly or do I have to off you in my new nightclub?” The two bodyguards raised their guns at Stephanie.

 

“Well, two things,” Stephanie said. “First, you should really make sure that the phone you put right by yourself when you announce your evil plans isn’t recording and broadcasting to the local police station who’s also sending officers to this very location. And second, Pasha, you are drunk. But I am Captain America.”

 

Stephanie grabbed the nearest gun and spun into the guard’s chest, elbow colliding in his jaw. She pulled his arm forward and bent, flipping him and disarming him, taking the gun. She let off a shot that tore through the fingers of the second guard, making his gun drop. She rolled, caught it, and swept his legs out from under him for good measure. As she got to her feet, guns pointed at Sanquino, he had a weapon against Pasha’s head. She was sobbing and squirming.

 

“One step closer, and I’m gonna kill her,” Sanquino said.

 

“Baby,” Pasha sobbed.

 

“Sorry, honey,” Sanquino said, licking tears from her opposite cheek. She shuddered and squirmed harder.

 

She dropped the guns, but she didn’t look at all bothered. She held a deep eye contact, her expression was one of stalwart determination that had inspired fear in men far stronger than Sanquino. “You’ve never shot anybody in the head before like this,” Stephanie said, stepping closer. “I can tell by the way you’re holding the gun. See, your wrist is too far bent, and could even break from the recoil. And you’ve decided to put your head right by the temple a shot would likely exit from, meaning you’re in a prime position to get splattered with blood and brains. Also, I see you’re using a pistol. Problem with that, it might bounce around, and you could end up having a ricocheting bullet embedded in your face.” He pressed the gun closer into Pasha’s temple while also slightly inching away from her and straightening his wrist. “Of course,” Stephanie continued closer to him. “The real reason I know you’re not very experienced with guns,” she said. “Is because you left the safety on.” In a moment of panic, he checked the safety of the gun. Stephanie used that opportunity to lunge at him. She pushed Pasha out of the cabana, grabbed Sanqunio’s wrist. He pulled the trigger wildly, shots going off into ceiling. Patrons screamed and ducked for cover. Stephanie kneed him in the groin, kneed him in the gut, pulled him into a kneeling position by the arm, kneed him in the face, twisted his arm behind his back until it popped and he screamed in pain, and then she grabbed the gun.

 

“Glock 17s don’t have external safety mechanisms, you putz,” Stephanie said. 

 

At that moment, the police burst into the nightclub. Stephane went over to Pasha, who was sobbing on the floor.

 

“Are you alright?” Stephanie asked.

 

“I want a divorce,” Pasha said.

 

* * *

 

 

Stephanie and Pasha arrived at Frizini’s penthouse the next day after being excused by police. Pasha sobbed into her father’s shoulder and tried to provide a blubbering explanation of what happened. After Frizini managed to get her to go to sleep, Stephanie explained what actually happened. How she found a strange link between Sanders and Spano, how Sanquino was Spano, that she realized Sanquino had been spending so much time at Sanders hotel because he wanted to attain it, which is why it was not used for any of the calls like his ARIA Sky Suites. He met Pasha, realized who she was and what she could provide in his growing acquisition of real estate, and quickly married her because she was a kid in her first whirlwind romance. After Sanders’ properties were his, he would arrange the assassination of Frizini and inherit all of his properties through Pasha.

 

“I don’t know how to thank you, Captain,” Frizini said. “But thank you so, so much.”

 

“You already paid me,” Stephanie said.

 

Frizini sighed, “When I lost my wife, I threw myself into my work. And by doing that, I let down Pasha. I will do differently, now.”

 

“Good,” Stephanie said. “Good luck to both of you. And I recommend, maybe, getting her some therapy.”

 

* * *

 

 

Toni and Pepper had delivered James to daycare and told Stephanie they would deliver him to her apartment that afternoon. She wasn’t expected to come into work. She considered just going home, but she found herself in a place called the Patriot Saloon a few blocks from the New York County Courthouse.

 

“Drinking at one in the afternoon on a Monday?” A woman asked Stephanie as she sat down beside her.

 

“It’s been a long weekend,” Stephanie said.

 

“And I see you’re celebrating with straight vodka?” Bernie Rosenthal asked.

 

“An acquired taste,” Stephanie said. “It’s all about taste when you can’t get drunk.”

 

“Sounds miserable,” Bernie said. “One Mevushal Cabernet Sauvignon, please,” she told the bartender. “So, how did your date with Frizini go?”

 

“I ended up taking down a Las Vegas mob syndicate which was expanding into dominating major national real estate,” Stephanie said. “That was fun.”

 

“Sounds fun,” Bernie said. “You were saying you need to blow off some steam. Although, based on Pepper’s setup, I would’ve assumed the mouth-kissy way.”

 

“Well, I think I can blow it off in a foot-kicky way as well,” Stephanie said. Bernie smile.

 

“I know Pepper probably invited me to that party to make out with you,” Bernie said. “But, I cannot remember the last time I could have an actual discussion with someone about the  of human rights in the American Justice system.”

 

“Toni says I’m either a historian, sociologist or conspiracy theorist based on my chosen reading list,” Stephanie said with a smile.

 

“So which is it?” Bernie asked. “Historian? Sociologist? Conspiracy theorist?”

 

“All of the above, probably,” Stephanie said.

 

“Well, it’s nice to talk to another queer, widowed, career mom,” Bernie said. “Even if she’s stalking you and showing up at your favorite watering hole.”

 

“You said you drank at a place with the America decor, I just used Google,” Stephanie said. “They have really vintage posters of me, back before the WAC was formed.”

 

“Why did you come here?” Bernie asked. “I know it wasn’t to relive your auxiliary days.”

 

“Well, I know Pepper set me up because she and Toni are getting a bit annoyed at how lonely I am,” Stephanie said. “And, you know, might be nice to have a friend with similar life experiences."

 

“I’ll drink to that,” Bernie said with a smile.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Captain America comic run I read a few years ago vaguely inspired this Las Vegas plot.
> 
> Thank you for reading so far. The rest of this fic will be posted after Dark World, which will begin posting after a brief hiatus.


	6. Karaoke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! This chapter was posted so late as I needed it to be in line with _Our Dark World._ due to the presence of spoilers and synergy with the greater AYCDICDB timeline.

November 15th, 2013, there was a second alien invasion. Stephanie got an alert on her phone in the early morning and watched the news footage from Greenwich on her couch, clutching James to her chest. Toni and Pepper sat in bed together and watched the ordeal unfold on the television in their room. Bertie tried to watch the footage but shut it off to hide in the safety of her bed in hopes of not having a violent transformation. Nat and Claire just got back from an infiltration mission linking South Ossetian separatists to a black market ring for advanced technology. They watched the news on their couch in Claire’s apartment.

 

Once the dust in Greenwich cleared, the Avengers met up at Stark Tower.

 

“Okay, so, we know three things,” Toni said. “First, Thordis showed up and handled this invasion with the help of Dr. Foster and Dr. Selvig. Second, Loki was there, for some reason. And third, S.H.I.E.L.D. is already starting clean-up after quarantining most of the University campus.”

 

“And fourth, she didn’t call us,” Nat said. “No heads up for an alien invasion? That’s our job? We could have helped?”

“Maybe it was small potatoes?” Stephanie suggested hopefully. “I mean, it took all of fifteen minutes from when the aliens appeared to when they disappeared.”

 

“Why was  _ Loki _ there?” Claire huffed.

 

“Yeah, none of us are too happy about that,” Toni said. “I’ve contacted Foster and Selvig. Hopefully, they’ll call me back and tell me, uh, what the hell happened.”

 

“Fury said our field office in London isn’t super concerned, ninety-six percent of the alien artifacts were limited to a mile radius, and eighty percent of the damage,” Nat said. “Quarantine and clean up should be easy enough, a lot fewer bodies than New York. Most of the damage was from how physics kinda stopped working for a bit.”

 

“The Maria Stark Foundation will handle the donations for the repairs,” Stephanie said. “Thank god for that billion dollars from my Las Vegas escapade. Of course, the BBC doesn’t think it’ll be more than a quarter of a billion of damages. A _ lot _ better than New York.”

 

“I’ve already gotten calls from twelve major media outlets asking for a comment,” Pepper said. “What do you want to say?”

 

“Let’s be honest,” Toni said. “We don’t know what happened, we express our condolences for the damages, injuries, and losses of life in London, and we’re coordinating with S.H.I.E.L.D. to  see if they need any further assistance.”

 

“That’ll be fine,” Nat said. “Claire and I will head to the New York office, see if we can’t dig up any more information from Hill or Fury.”

 

“We’ll also call C- the Agent managing the clean-up crew and see if they need some spare hands,” Claire said.

 

The S.H.I.E.L.D. agents stood up and headed out of the conference room.

 

“I really hope alien invasions aren’t, like, an annual thing now,” Toni said.

 

“I think we all share that sentiment,” Stephanie sighed.

 

Toni’s phone started to buzz, she picked it up, “Dr. Foster!” she said with relief. “Do you mind if I put you on speakerphone?” Apparently, Jane was fine with that, because Toni set her phone down. “Alright, you’re on speakerphone.”

 

“Hi,” Jane said. “So, um, sorry about not calling you. We kinda… forgot? Um, we’ve been swamped, jumping around the realms.”

 

“What happened?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Um, well, the short version is that there’s this powerful convergence between all the nine realms every few thousand years that warp the rules of physics and causes these interdimensional rifts. I was investigating them with, uh, Erik, here in London, and accidentally fell into one. I got infected with some ancient parasitic power called the Aether and, uh, Thordis found out, brought me to Asgard to help. Um, these Dark Elves tracked it, attacked Asgard, killed her mom, and then ran away. They were gonna come back and like, blow up Asgard, so Thordis decided we were gonna go to them. She, uh, broke out Loki to help her commit treason to save Asgard because that’s what Loki’s good for, I guess. Uh, the Dark Elf dude, Malekith, got the Aether out of me but then he escaped. Loki almost died, and then Thordis almost died stopping Loki from dying. We found a cave that led to Earth, and then, you know, the stuff on the news. Um, The evil dude is dead. Thordis says that the Aether is safe in her Dad’s vault now.”

 

“What about Loki?”

 

“Yeah, so, he’s kinda… working with Thordis now?” Jane asked. “Like, he’s forced to. Um, we’re talking to S.H.I.E.L.D. right now, heading to their London office, actually. And, uh, I guess if they’re satisfied they’ll fly us out to New York so we can say hi?”

 

“What do you mean he’s forced to?” Bertie asked.

 

“So, like, he can’t do anything she doesn’t want him to do,” Jane said. There was some loud voice in the background. “It’s some moral restraint I - I guess, like the one on her hammer so only she can lift it.” They were silent. Jane seemed uncomfortable,  “I’m sorry, I know sucks.” There was an offended male voice muffled in the background. “But he did save my life and, like, almost die twice to stop Malekith. So, I don’t know, growth? I mean, we did save the Universe today.”

 

“Wait, the  _ Universe _ ?” Toni asked.

 

“Yeah, if Malekith had his way with the Aether, he would have extinguished the Universe and killed most life in it,” Jane said.

 

“We should’ve been there,” Toni said.

 

“I, yeah, sorry for not calling you. We were busy we completely forgot about asking for help,” Jane said. “Anyway, we’re nearly at the London office, um, see you later.”

 

* * *

 

 

The conference room in Stark tower was again full with the Avengers, sans Thordis, a few weeks later. Of course, this time, they were waiting for her. Thordis strode into the conference room in Earth clothes, a blue leather jacket over a red flannel shirt and denim trousers. Her hair was in a fat braid down her back, and she was grinning. She had her hammer in one hand like it was a handbag, and her other arm was slung around the shoulders of Dr. Foster. Following behind Thordis was a woman who, based on her body language, wanted to be anywhere but that room. Everyone scrutinized her. She had sleek, dark hair that she tied back in a high ponytail. Her emerald pea coat was open, revealing a black leather dress beneath. She had thick gold cuffs on either wrist and a permanent scowl. Was this Loki?

 

“Friends!” Thordis beamed. “Good to see you!”

 

“Hey, Princess,” Toni said. “How’s space?”

 

“Space is fine!” Thordis beamed.

 

“Who’s the lady?” Stephanie asked.

 

“Did Loki... get a sex change?” Bertie asked.

 

“Yes,” Thordis said. “The Jotun race has the unique ability to change their sex at will, I have encouraged Loki to feel comfortable changing now that she’s no longer under the scrutiny of Asgard.”

 

“I thought this face wouldn’t be as offensive,” Loki said.

 

“Eh,” Claire said, arms crossed, staring daggers.

 

“I’ve come to explain what happened!” Thordis said. “I understand Jane summarized for you, but if you have any questions, I would be happy to explain.”

 

“Why didn’t you call us?” Toni asked.

 

“I regret that I was so focused on defeating Malekith, I never considered asking for help,” Thordis bowed her head. “Which was wrong of me, as your friend.”

 

“Why isn’t Loki in prison?” Claire asked.

 

“She is paying the debts of her actions through service,” Thordis explained.

 

“I’m only allowed to hurt the people Thordis doesn’t like,” Loki said. “If I try to do anything she doesn’t like, these will start to kill me,” Loki held up her bracelets.

 

“Exactly,” Thordis said. “She is indemnifying her actions through service and protection to the realms."

 

“So, you’re staying on Earth or what?” Nat asked.

 

“When the realms do not need my help, I will try to spend my time with Jane,” Thordis said. “However, Loki and I may be busy with our mission. Loki has,” Thordis shot her sister a wavering look, “ _ Finally _ explained to me what happened before she invaded the Earth. And, well, it’s given me direction.”

 

“Do I  _ have _ to tell them?” Loki said.

 

“Yes!” Thordis said with a broad smile.

 

Loki rolled her eyes and shoved her tongue into a corner of her mouth to stop her from saying something. She sighed, looked at her shoes with way more interest than they deserved, and mumbled, “The scepter I used, I was under the influence of its gemstone.”

 

“She’s lying, right?” Claire asked.

 

“I wouldn’t allow her to,” Thordis said. "Not about this."

 

“It wasn’t like the rest of you, I’m too powerful to be completely controlled,” Loki said. “But, it poisoned my mind. It allowed the darkest, most hateful parts of my psyche to fester. I assume that, subconsciously, I was fighting it, because I was so easily defeated.”

 

“Yeah, or we’re better than you,” Toni said.

 

Loki bit her tongue and grimaced.

 

“Who was influencing you?” Stephanie asked.

 

“He’s an intergalactic warmonger who worships Death,” Thordis explained. “Loki and I will concern ourselves with seeking his operations across the realms and weakening them. If you need me on Midgard, just call upon my name, and I shall come as soon as I can.”

 

“Well, we appreciate that,” Toni smiled.

 

“And I will try to avoid all of you as much as possible,” Loki said.

 

“Good,” Nat said.

 

“So, Dr. Foster, how’s your work going?” Bertie asked.

 

“Stark Industries could always find a lab for you,” Toni said.

 

“I’m actually moving to Switzerland,” Jane said. “Geneva. Selvig and I were invited to work with CERN on our research. S.H.I.E.L.D. pulled some strings. We want to expand on Erik’s research with antiprotons and how they can create stable interdimensional phase shifts, and possibly see if we can design an accelerator to create Einstein-Rosenberg bridges.”

 

“Well, before you go, we should have a party,” Toni announced. “The Avengers and friends. I have this new Karaoke machine I’ve been dying to try out, what about a little competition? See which one of us is the most dramatic.”

 

“So, it’ll either be you or Steph,” Nat said. “The two biggest drama queens on the team.”

 

“Really, Romanoff?” Stephanie asked, sounding both tired and amused. “You think I’m a bigger drama Queen than Toni Stark? I’m flattered.”

 

“It is on, Sleeping Beauty,” Toni said.

 

* * *

 

 

The Karaoke party was a private affair, just the Avengers and their closest friends. Toni, Pepper, Rhodey, Bertie, Nat, Claire, Thordis, Jane, Darcy, Stephanie, Sharon Carter, and Bernie Rosenthal were all in attendance. There was good conversation, pizza, ice cream, and Karaoke. After Toni and Rhodey belted Queen together for a straight half hour, Toni declared it was time for the Karaoke competition. All songs that they sang had to be from the last decade, and the non-Avengers would confer on everyone’s score in the following categories: How good the song was, how good they sang, and how much drama they added to their performance.

 

Bertie went first, “I want to get this out of the way,” She said between her constant declarations of “I can’t sing.” She decided to perform Carly Rae Jepsen’s beloved “Call Me Maybe” because it was bright, cheerful, and ingrained in her head from the twelve thousand times it was on the radio. She definitely could not sing but got an average score in total for her peppy resemblance to Jepsen. Claire succeeded her, belting an off-key but very passionate rendition of “Sugar, We’re Goin’ Down” by Fall Out Boy. She got bonus points for her air-drumming, head banging, and angry attempt at a backflip. The first surprise of the night was Nat’s haunting and monotone rendition of Lana Del Rey’s “Born To Die” which they somehow made terrifying by maintaining eye contact with the audience. The fact that they were utterly expressionless the entire time stirred up a debate in the judges. They were unsure if that should result in a low dramatic performance or a very high performance, Nat still got a decent score.

 

Up next, Toni Stark. She started out easy enough, grooving to the introductory drums and guitar of her chosen song while focusing on the microphone and getting into the right mood. When it was time to sing, she perked right up, holding the microphone in one hand and blading her stance like a seasoned pop star, swaying with the rhythm. “Well, hell sees her shadow in my backseat. And her friends are standing right in front of me. Worldwide from the Cimarron to Turkey.” She switched her stance and winked at her fiancee. “Open up said everybody loves me.” She started to walk away from the designated stage part of the living room into the audience. “And you don't have to make a sound, 'cause they got what you need. What you need. Oh, oh, oh, oh.”  her hand dragged across people’s shoulders and through their hair when she could get reach as she walked through the front border of the audience before returning to the stage area, her back to them. 

 

She turned to look at them behind her shoulder. “God love all the people that have warned you.” She twirled in a full circle and looked over the other shoulder. “God love all your sentimental virtue.” She snapped her head up to the ceiling and sang up above moving her hips with the rhythm, “Eightballs with the takers that'll make you. Lay calls with the lovers that'll hate you.” She split her legs and bent down, looking at the audience from between her knees. “And you don’t have to make a sound,” she sang as she arched her spine and returned to standing upright. “They got what you need. What you need. Make you say-” She did a 180 and started strutting toward the audience, gesturing for emphasis on the heavy beats. “ _ Oh my _ ! Feels just like I  _ don't try _ ! Looks so good I  _ might die _ . All I know is everybody loves me.” She crouched over Pepper’s lap, swaying her hips with vulgarity. Pepper laughed. Now, instead of gesturing, she thrust her hips emphatically on certain beats. “ _ Get down _ , Swaying to my _ own sound _ . Flashes in my  _ face now _ .” She rose from Pepper’s lap to spin on one foot and straddle her hips, one hand on the couch and one hand on the microphone. “All I know is everybody loves me-” She stole a kiss from Pepper. “Everybody loves me.” She went right back to striding and swaying through the audience. Pepper was laughing. “Well, I play the music don't stop till I turn gray. Stars like forever John Sousa never fade, he had a beautiful child, named Desiree. Hope I'm remembered for the things that I never made.” She dropped to her knees and crawled across the ground, undulating her body as she moved, “Cause you don't have to make a sound when they got what you need. Make you say  _ Oh My _ !” She jumped to her feet. “Feels just like I  _ don’t try _ .” She twirled. “Looks so good I  _ might die _ .” She twirled. “All I know is everybody loves me!” She stepped onto the armrest of the couch and stood on the back of the sofa, shuffling from side to side. 

 

“ _ Get down _ ,” Pepper said, accidentally with the lyrics.

 

Toni grinned and winked, “Swaying to my  _ own sound _ . Flashes in my _ face now.  _ All I know is everybody loves me. Everybody loves me.” She jumped off the back of the couch over the patrons sitting on it and rolled to her feet. She pointed the microphone at the audience.

 

“Everybody, everybody, oh!” They chanted. “Everybody, everybody!”

 

Toni dropped to her knees again, panting, her face was drawn in a dramatic melancholy as the music became quieter and gentler. “Don't need my health, got my name and got my wealth. I-” she snapped to a dramatic pose while on her knees, one arm in the air while she clutched the microphone to her lips, “Stare at the sun, Just for kicks all by myself I-” She changed again, leaning back, holding the microphone with both hands. “Lose track of time. so I might be past my prime, but-” She faced the audience with a wicked grin. “I'm feeling oh so good!” She jumped to her feet. “Yeah!” She went back to the stage area, finally, stomping and swaying as she did the chorus yet again, sending flirty facial expression at the audience the entire time. “ _ Oh my _ ! Feels just like I  _ don't try. _ Looks so good I  _ might die _ . All I know is everybody loves me.  _ Get down _ . Swaying to my  _ own sound _ . Flashes in my _ face now.  _ All I know is everybody loves me. Everybody loves me!” She rolled around on the ground, dramatically arching her back and just trying to be as extremely sexual as possible. “Oh, I said-” She pointed the microphone at the audience.

 

“Everybody! Everybody!” the chanted.

 

“Don’t you know who you are! I said-”

 

“Everybody! Everybody! Everybody!”

 

“Woah!” Toni sustained the note from where she lay on the ground. The music cut out and she dropped the microphone to her chest, heaving, and panting. She climbed to her feet and grinned at Stephanie, “Beat that, Cap!”

 

Stephanie smiled, “Alright, I’ll do my best.”

 

She took the stage and cracked her neck. She left the microphone on the ground. Only Nat realized she was wearing her swing shoes. She stood perfectly still and rigid. A funky swing beat started blaring from the speakers. “Tarzan and Jane were swingin’ from a vine,” She called, with the same cadence and authority of a drill sergeant barking orders. She dropped her voice to a whisper, “Candyman. Candyman.” She went back to her full volume, “Sippin’ from a bottle of vodka double wine.” She dropped back to a whisper, sticking a trouser-clad leg out and slowly dragging it back, eyes on the audience,  “Sweet, sugar, candyman-” she winked. She started to swing her legs, shuffle her feet, and bob her body to the music before going back to singing. She still swung her body with the music and snapped her hands, and when she sang, she projected like she was on an actual stage “I met him out for dinner on a Friday night, he really had me workin’ up an appetite-” She made wide circles across her abdomen. “He had tattoos up and down his arm,” She sang, stroking her left arm for emphasis. She shuffled her feet and moved her hands from side to side on the beat, “There’s nothin’ more dangerous than a boy with-” She spun to the side, crouched lightly and arched her back, and poked the dimple of her smile on the side facing the audience “-charm.” She turned back to be square with the audience “He’s a one-stop shop-” She extended both arms with her index fingers out and crossed them. She spun to her other side and curled her fingers in her waistband. “Makes the panties drop-”  She crouched slightly and pulled her pants down. There were gasps. 

 

She bounced out of the pile of pants on the ground, revealing that she had black fishnet stockings and short, silver, sparkly, spandex shorts under her initial layer. “He’s a sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated Candyman.” She shuffled away from her pants and struck a pose emphasizing her bared legs. “A sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated Candyman,” She began to swing across the stage again. She shuffled and twirled, her legs were flying as she hopped, bobbed and slid from one foot to the other. “He took me to the Spider Club at Hollywood and Vine. We drank champagne,” She leaned backward dramatically, arching her back. “And we danced all night-” She broke into a pirouette before returning to her swinging shuffle. “We shook the paparazzi for a big surprise. The gossip tonight will be tomorrow’s headline.” She brought her hands in front of her again, index fingers crossed. “He’s a one-stop shop,” She grabbed the collar of her shirt. “Makes my cherry pop.” She ripped her blouse open. More shocked exclamations resounded.

 

Beneath her shirt was the rest of her shorts, they were actually some sort of shiny silver dancing leotard with a halter top as opposed to just spandex shorts. “He’s a sweet-talkin’, sugar- coated Candyman.” She shrugged off her blouse with the snap buttons, letting it drop beside her pants. She kicked both away. “A sweet-talkin', sugar-coated Candyman.” She scatted and belted vowels as she swung-dance across the stage. She broke into high kicks and twirling skips. She broke into a cartwheel, flipped, and landed in a split. She rolled to her feet. “He’s a one-stop shop,” She sang, crossing her index fingers. “Makes my cherry-” She popped her cheek with her middle finger. She winked and continued to swing. “He’s a sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated Candyman. A sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated Candyman.” She resumed her scatting and her vocals while the music played. She somehow managed to dance suggestively while swinging, like some ancient echo of vulgarity in the early twentieth century. “Well, by now, I’m gettin’ all bothered and hot. When he kissed my mouth it really hit the spot-” She pressed one hand to her lips to blow a kiss at the audience. She twirled and arched her back, “He had lips like sugarcane.” She swung her hips on the beat, “Good things come to boys who wait.” 

 

She snapped back into a rigid position, barking, “Tarzan and Jane were swinging from a vine!” She dropped her voice to a whisper and grinned. “Candyman. Candyman.” She returned to her officer’s call, “Sippin’ from a bottle of Vodka double wine.”  She whispered again, “Candyman. Candyman.” She sauntered toward the front of the stage, with each step, she said, “Sweet. Sugar. Candyman.” She stood with her hands on her hips, her feet spread slightly. “He’s a one-stop, gotcha hot, makin’ all the panties drop,” She twisted her feet, dropped into a squat, and slowly rose with her hands trailing up her own legs as she whispered, “Sweet. Sugar. Candyman.” She snapped back to her square stance. “He’s a one-stop, got me hot, makin’ my-” She twisted her torso slightly and slapped herself on the glittery ass, letting out a soft moan. “-pop.” She grinned at the shocked faces in the audience and whispered, “Sweet. Sugar. Candyman.” She snapped back to her initial position, “He’s a one-stop, get it while it’s hot-” she ran her hands across her abdomen, “Baby don’t stop.” She whispered again, “Sweet. Sugar-” Then she broke into her swing. 

 

“He’s got lips like Sugarcane,” She arched her back, “Good things come to boys who wait.” She extended her arms and crossed her index fingers, “He’s a one-stop shop with a real big-” She covered her mouth with one hand and gasped dramatically. She grinned and continued dancing, “He’s a sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated Candyman. A sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated Candyman. A sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated Candyman. A sweet-talkin’, sugar-coated Candyman.” Her dancing continued, swinging, shuffling, twirling and skipping around the stage. “Candyman,” She sang again and again: “Candyman.” Then she snapped back and let out her drill sergeant call, “Tarzan and Jane were swingin’ on a vine!” She pointed at them, and they echoed her. “Sippin’ from a bottle of Vodka, double wine! “ She pointed, they echoed. “Jane lost her grip and down she fell!” She pointed, they echoed. “Squared herself away as she let out a yell!” She pointed, they echoed, and she folded herself in half in a bow as the music ended.

 

After giving everyone a minute to recover from Toni and Stephanie’s combined dramatic efforts, Thordis was last. Despite not being very familiar with modern Midgardian music, she finally insisted she could sing a song from a musical she and Jane had seen. It was a Disney movie that came out recently. When the piano introduction began, everyone realized what she was going to sing, and were both terrified and excited. Darcy started filming to have this personally on her phone. 

 

“The storms are dark over Midgard tonight, no starlight to be seen,” Thordis sang. It  _ was  _ cloudy outside. “A kingdom of isolation, and it looks like I’m the queen.” The storm started to pick up around them, the wind became noticeable. “The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside. Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried.” To give her credit, she was also pulling off Queen Elsa’s mannerisms. Hugging herself and seeming melancholy. Her voice was decent as well. “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see! Be the good girl you always have to be! Conceal, don’t feel. Don’t let them know. Well, now they know!” She said. Thunder rumbled overhead. Rain poured down against the glass panes of Stark Tower. “Let it go!” She sang. Lightning crackled through the sky. “Let it go! Don’t hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go. Turn away and slam the door!” The boom of thunder rattled the windows. “I don’t care what they’re going to say! Let the storm rage on! Thunder never bothered me anyway!” As the music sprung into the short interlude, the small audience began to clap in beat with the song.

 

“It’s funny how some distance makes everything seem small. And the fears that once controlled me-” she dropped to her knees and belted “-can’t get to me at all!” The skies crackled behind her. “It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through! No right, no wrong, no rules for me. I’m free!” She belted again, the clouds rolling and charging for the chorus. “Let it go!” Lightning bolted down in a variety of different hues, crackling sharp and beautiful behind her. “Let it go! I am one with the wind and sky! Let it go! Let it go! You’ll never see me cry! Here I stand, and here I’ll stay! Let the storm rage on-”

 

She turned dramatically to the glass windows, so their attention was entirely on the skies outside. And, to be fair, that was with good reason. The lightning bounced through the clouds, looking like sprays of fireworks. Not only was the sky illuminated in shifting bolts, but the light display was somehow coordinated with the instrumental. It was stunning. When Thordis resumed, she was pushing her voice as hard as she could to sustain the powerful notes, “My power strikes through the air into the ground! My soul is spiraling in lightning crackles all around! And one thought discharges with an electrostatic blast!” She put as much torment as she could into her warbling voice, “I’m never going back, the past is in the past!” She pulled her hair out of the where it was rolled behind her head and let it fall over her shoulder. Exactly like Elsa. She had done her hair for this spectacle. “Let it go! Let it go! And I’ll rise like the break of dawn!” From the ground up, crossing beams of energy climbed up her body, and a spectacularly ornate blue and silver dressed replaced her earth clothes. “Let it go! Let it go! That perfect girl is gone! Here I stand in the light of day! Let the storm rage on!” She pushed the last syllable with all the force her lungs could hold. “Thunder never bothered me anyway!” She sunk into a shallow, theatrical bow. The small group roared with applause.

 

“She wins,” Toni said.

 

“You aren’t a judge,” Pepper said.

 

“Are you saying she doesn’t win?” Toni asked.

 

“No, she wins, I just like correcting you,” Pepper replied. 

 

“I mean, she’s no Idina Menzel,” Rhodey said. “But, uh, she used magic. So, she wins.”

 

“And also, Toni, next time you give me a lap dance, let’s not do it in public,” Pepper suggested.

 

Toni grinned, “Whatever you want, Miss Potts.” She winked.

 

“You guys are disgusting,” Stephanie said.

 

“Says miss  _ panty drop _ ,” Pepper said. “You did a striptease!” 

 

Stephanie bit her lip and shrugged, “Sam said Karaoke was like Vaudeville and I decided to go with it.”

 

“I’m not sure if that performance is gonna haunt my nightmares or my wet dreams,” Bernie Rosenthal said.

 

“I wish I could say the former,” Sharon’s head was in her hands.

 

“She lied,” Pepper said. “Sam lied. Karaoke doesn’t need all  _ that _ .”

 

“It should,” Toni grinned. “I need to buy Sam something. She got Stephanie Barnes to do a striptease. Do you think a car is too much? I don’t think a car is too much. A nice, bulletproof sedan? Would Sam like that?”

 

“Probably,” Stephanie said.

 

“I’m gonna get Sam a car,” Toni declared. “I need someone to give me feedback on the next-gen StarkCar anyway. Why not our good friend Sam Wilson who got  _ Captain America _ to do a  _ Striptease _ .”

 

“Look, I love Sam, but that was no my first striptease,” Stephanie said.

 

“Stuff you did for Mr. Barnes doesn’t count,” Toni said. Stephanie didn’t abate. Toni gaped.

 

“Look, you get bored on road trips across the midwest, and the showgirls liked to dance,” Stephanie said. “Maybe, sometimes, we got a little rowdy. All in good fun.”

 

“Yeah, I think I’m gonna end up talking to Dr. Kafka about this,” Toni said.

 

* * *

 

 

Toni and Dr. Kafka had been speaking for half of the session about Toni’s thoughts surrounding the fact that Loki was allowed to be back on Earth. Kafka, as always, was a good listener, and her gentle suggestions helped Toni admit that she didn’t like Loki but trusted Thordis enough that it wasn’t bothering her as much as she expected. Of course, then there were some residual concerns that she was letting her guard down, but Kafka assured her that there was nothing wrong with having some faith as long as it was done critically.

 

“So, how are you today, Toni?” Dr. Kafka asked.

 

“Good,” Toni said. “I- I’ve been having a lot of good days recently.”

 

Kafka smiled, “I’m glad. How’s the wedding planning going? Stressful?”

 

“Not as much as I would’ve thought,” Toni said. “We’re shooting for this June. Hopefully. If the Universe is willing. Pepper’s so excited. I’m so excited. Steph is, well, I don’t know why I’m always nervous to ask Stephanie about it. I mean, she’s an artist, she knows like color theory and everything. But, I’m always worried if I’m happy around her she’ll start crying.”

 

“It’s important to have empathy,” Kafka said. “But you should talk about those things if you’re worried they’re a sensitive subject for your friend.”

 

“Yeah, talking about feelings, a thing I need to do,” Toni said.

 

“What about work?”

 

“Also good. We’re doing a little launch for the next-gen StarkPhone, and we have a beta testing cohort for the StarkCars already on the road. Pepper’s been dealing with the board, and they’re pretty satisfied with our expansions. Especially with that recent publicity campaign for giving kids free prosthetics being funded by our acquisition of a major healthcare corporation. I kinda want to expand more into medical tech and what better way to do that than to own a bunch of research and teaching hospitals, right?”

 

Kafka nodded. “Is there anything you need to talk about?”

 

“I… I mean, yeah I still have problems sometimes, but it’s nothing that you haven’t helped me, like, cope with and actively think about.”

 

“Well,” Kafka said, “Quite frankly, Toni, I suggest we scale back on how many appointments you have. We went from three a week to two a week to once a week, and your therapy is sticking. Of course, you can always text me or call me if you need an emergency session, but when was the last time you had a panic attack?”

 

“Eight weeks ago,” Toni said. “Because of a nightmare.”

 

“And we had an alien invasion five weeks ago, and you handled that well,” Kafka said. “You know how to avoid your triggers, while also calming yourself down when exposed to one. It’s been about a year, and you have made a lot of progress. And I’m proud of you.”

 

“Aw, thanks, doc,” Toni grinned. “So, what, every other Tuesday, you think?”

 

“Sure,” Kafka said.

 

* * *

 

 

Pepper and Toni were lying in bed, chests heaving, glistening with sweat. They were wrapped in the sheets of the bed, but not much else. Toni sighed deeply and looked over at Pepper. She gazed at Pepper, committing her features at this moment to memory. The way her hair was a mess and fanned out around her. The sated expression on her face. The way here eyelashes fluttered against her cheek and her lips trembled as she breathed. The smooth curve of her neck and the sharp lines of her collarbones. The way she looked ethereal in the dim light of their bedroom.

 

“Toni?” Pepper asked. “You okay?”

 

“I’m great,” Toni said. “I’m happy,” She smiled. “Are you happy?”

 

Pepper smiled. It was the kind of bright, fond smile that made Toni’s heart skip a beat. “I’m happy. I’m really happy.”

 

“Good,” Toni said.

 

“I love you,” Pepper said.

 

“I love you, too, honey,” Toni said.

 

Yeah, she was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks! I hope you enjoyed! This entire work was really a lot of fluff and self-fulfillment, but I thought it was fun to write, and I hope, for you, it was fun to read!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! 
> 
> As always, your feedback is appreciated, so if you would comment or provide kudos, I would adore it.


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